Warynn's place

Fresh rant? A reason to rant

2011-10-23T20:06:00.001+02:00

It feels like ranting time for me again. There is a change though, finally. I shall first tell you why I say "finally".
Lately I feel like there has been something missing. Missing from what keeps us moving forward. I wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, work, eat lunch, work some more, go home, eat dinner, watch a movie or some series episodes and go to sleep. And from time to time I feel content doing that. I also have been in the dumps over being single again. I tried subscribing to some sites (yes yes, I know, it's pathetic, but hell) to meet some new people. I met one girl and we get along fine, but there is no real spark. Same with some other girls I know who I might have an interest in. I get along fine with them, and we have nice talks, and I can even show some of my true colors to them. But again there is no spark. It made me... depressed, again. But I am kinda sick and tired of being depressed, so I set myself to the task of thinking up a solution. To know the solution you must know the question. The question in this case: why can't I create a spark [of interest]. Ah, perhaps it's me, but hell, looking at the other couples out there, I seem like plenty a good guy. Sure I'm nerdy and geeky and a gamer and what have you, but I'm social. I have a bunch of friends who are dear to me like family. I go to clubs and dance, I'm no wall-flower with a soda-pop in his hands. I can carry a great conversation when I get past the first step (heh), and I can use both intelligence and witty humor to charm the person opposite of me. So what is wrong? Is it me? Is it them? I tried asking them: is it me? The answer was no on several occasions. But honestly, I beg to differ. I thought about it, from different angles. If it's not me it's them. But I think I'm enough of a people person to read them, and no I don't think the problems lies there. So we're back to step 1 (didn't get very far, right? hah!) : it's me. So what's wrong with me? I have a job, I make good money, I have good colleagues, a good boss, a good company, and so on. But I explained the situation before. I eat, I work, I sleep. And my motivation is being drained every day. My hobbies and my interests are what keep me up, together with my friends and my social life. I used to have a good motivation during College. The will to make something great, the creativity inside of me could be harnessed and had a way out, and I made great friends doing it. Work is... different. Sure I love programming, but creativity is difficult. I'm still a new employee and I feel the pressure of my colleagues, to be as good in my job as they are. Being creative in your solutions take time and I don't give myself this time... yet (I hope). And my colleagues are good people. Great people even but they will never be as close to me as my College friends will be. So... yeah. That conclusion is easily made. It's something I have to live with. For the moment, for a starter, this job is great. I'm not willing to give it up for a gamble just yet. So really, today I realised... I have no real thing that is "me".
So here is the conclusion about what changed about my ranting. I used to rant when I have questions. Questions about why things happen the way they do, and what I should do when I feel this crappy. But this here, it's a rant about finding an answer. It's a small one, but it's a step.
Fuck it, I'm a coward. More so, I'm one of the worst kind of cowards, I'm a lazy coward, too lazy to go out and fix it when some possible answers are right in front of me. But I need to find one that is "me". I need to find the motivation to break out of this, "funk" you can call it. Most of my life I am coasting along, looking for support, needing love as support, but more and more I'm getting the feeling I need to break free.

And probably, when I break free, I can be someone who can create that spark.

A tough question

2011-09-30T00:13:00.004+02:00

When signing up for some site I often stumble across this really hard question, which they expect me to just gloss over and leisurely answer. However I find it hard to do just that; And I'm sure I'm not the only one.
I sincerly hope that one day such questions will be either abolished; or properly expanded to fully grasp their profoundness.

Without further ado, the question in question:
(since the wording of the question may vary, I've boiled it down to it's pure essence, making it easier to understand and identify.)

"Hello there, I know you've suffered many years pondering this problem and it has had severe psychological effects on you such as depression and suicidal thoughts, and it will probably result in severe societal issues in your later life; nevertheless I would like you to choose one of these two heavily laden terms to better specify your place in our marketing mold, rather than true personalisation of your profile."

The inability to rant

2011-04-12T20:09:00.002+02:00

Hmm, it seems both me and Mor are having a problem here.

We're both at points in our life we can see important decisions and pathways, but we both seem to have developed an inability to rant at this point.

Mor has some concepts in the works, along with one half finished rant I wanted to pick up on, but we never finished it.

For me personally: the fact that I already type 8 hours a day at work doesn't help... and I utterly hate classic writing, prolly because I suck at writing properly... and in a readable font...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, dammit...

Anyways, I'm posting this, at least it shows we aren't dead yet.

Lots to think about in this nice weather.

*sighs*

--Warynn out

Global Game Jam 2011

2011-01-29T09:00:00.002+01:00

Heyy, another blogpost!!

This time though, it's a unique experience I want to talk about (well unique for me),
and I felt if I didn't talk about it I'd miss out on sharing this to the world.

Earlier this year I signed up for a game development event called Global Game Jam.
The goal of the event was for game developers to come together and with small teams of
up to five people, make a game in 48 hours. Yes, it could be described as a mad rush, or as a innovative and new way to stimulate creativity. I would be a great experience and
a way to see some of my old classmates back.

Now I'm sitting here in the morning, it's 8h50 pm and I just slept a meager five hours in my sleeping bag on the floor. My face is all red from my makeshift pillow (bunched up clothes) and my eyes feel like they might as well be used as sandpaper. But I'm fairly content sitting here. It's a blast, hehe.

Day 2! Our project, for the moment called "fresh fiiish" is about infected fish trying to spread or stop the infection (depending on good or evil). It's going to be a silly game with each infected fish needing controlling with one keyboard key. Yes, if you have 20 infected fish, you'll need 20 keys ;). For the moment, the prototype is "ready" and now comes importing the first of the art assets and testing and polishing for the real game. We'll see how that goes... but first, breakfast!

Hehe, it's funny to see those people that have just woken up walk by with their dazed look. I know it's how I must have been looking when I first woke up, but I was one of the early ones... Well, early in this... bout of waking people.

I'm glad I bought a food-packet arrangement for the weekend, they certainly feed us enough and we get a lot more than we payed for. Yay sponsering.

Anyways, now I'm really going to enjoy my breakfast, and see about turning those damn fish around to join your infected horde, without breaking the gameplay. You'll prolly hear more from me later, but for now...

--Warynn out

Animus

2010-08-10T00:46:00.000+02:00

Sometimes, there is a time for all of us, when we want to talk to someone who isn't there. Sometimes ,there is a time when we want to talk about things that drive us, that define us, that keep us busy. I started this place just for that, to talk to the void, to talk to people that aren't there. I made this place so I could tell a story that unfolded inside of me, that yearned to be let out, or that would and did explode in tears.
Life never is easy, we all wish to run away from it. We all wish we could take a break, just sit there and think things over. We all wish for time, we all wish for wisdom, for what to do, for what will come.
Perhaps this place, for me, is a place of self reflection. But I know, for me, this place is also of catharsis, and of expression. For me it allows me to express what can't be expressed. Things for me that can't see the daylight, nor can see reality. It's for that, that I write a story, no that I write stories: Worlds in me that yearn to get out, but can't be shown during the day, can't be expressed to friends, or family, or people in general.
It's during these moments, these moments that my mind yearns for a break, that my soul bursts with doubt about my path, with fear for the future, my hope for my goal, that my mind wanders of to the worlds I create. The worlds where one can be what he or she wants to be. Where all can be written as we wish, where all can end as we wish. But still, if we would let the world in our minds unfold when we write it, would we not face the same hardships, the same inner turmoil and doubts and fears and hopes as in the real world.
They say that the grass is greener on the other side. So our minds create these "other sides". But really, are they so much better? They are filled with magic, monsters, knights, warriors, fighters, aliens, antagonists, protagonists, allies and enemies and friends and hopes and fear and futures. Same like our own worlds, our own realities.
But still, we go to the other side. It's for that that we write and create the worlds, it's for that that we allow our alter ego's, our avatars to lead the way into these so called greener pastures.
Everyone has doubts. Everyone everywhere sometimes feels like I feel now, like you don't have the strength to carry on to the next morning. That you wish that this day would not end for fear that tomorrow you will falter, and your path eternally altered to a less bright future. We wish... But still, we have no choice.
It's for that purpose that we create these other worlds, that I wish to create worlds and places and stories. For they allow us to face our fears on a different ground, they allow us to forge ahead into our future. They allow us to fight our doubts, and see them crushed beneath our own soles/souls, so that we can keep building our tomorrows. It is for *that*, the fact that we can go to sleep in peace, and wake with the knowledge that this tomorrow, this new day will be a Good Day, it's for that, that I want to create worlds...

It's for fighting my own doubts, facing my own fears, it's for putting myself at ease, so I can go to sleep, knowing tomorrow I will find my path, and that it shall lead me to a future I always wanted...

So here I say: Mor, welcome to my world, friend. May you find the same peace I find here, and may you forge your own blade to fight your demons.

We will stride on.

Chapter 2: The Vampire Hunters (part 1)

2010-02-03T23:01:00.002+01:00

Vladimir and Benjamin were cruising through the city in the Ferrari Jonathan managed to borrow from a local distributor. The mild traffic gave Vladimir enough time to think. In the meanwhile Benjamin was tinkering with the radio they picked up from yet another local distributor. He was trying to tune into the police frequencies, but so far to no avail.

“Sir, what is our mission?”

“Your mission is to get that radio working.”

“It would be nice to know what where up against here.” Benjamin tried again.

“We're up against the police. So get that radio working, else we'll be going in without information.”

Benjamin grunted. After some time he got the radio working. They kept driving around quietly waiting for a useful report to come in.

The police station seemed like a ghost town, it looked completely deserted. Charles wondered where everyone had gone too. After a quick and fruitless search he thought of something. He rushed to the interrogation rooms only to discover that his feeling was right: Maya was gone. There had to be someone still here. Suddenly he heard someone talking, but they weren't speaking English. Charles drew his revolver and slowly advanced towards the source of the talking. He found himself standing in front of his own bureau. He took a deep breath, opened the door and stormed inside, pointing his gun at whoever was in his office. The two Caucasian men turned their attention toward Charles, then saw the gun and slowly raised their arms. “Charles Turner, I presume?”

Davy was rushing his van through the mild morning traffic. Those with vehicles substantially smaller than his better not hindered them, after all, physics was on his side this time. He always drove like mad when he was frustrated. His boss was in town and that meant things would go from bad to worse. This man didn't have the tact to interfere with his organisation, Davy thought by himself. Sure he was a good soldier and a potent commander, but he lacked the finesse to interact with a modern society. Davy wondered why they were still working together, Vladimir had nothing more to offer him really. He had been a great help getting his organisation of the ground, but now no more help was needed. And what was up with the total world domination? To Davy it seemed plain stupid. Why would you want to eradicate all your enemies? It just left you without a goal. What would there be left to live for when you have already accomplished everything?

Suddenly his mobile phone rang. He picked it up and answered it with a short “yes?”. This yes was soon followed by a “shit” and the crushing of the poor phone. “Call in the cavalry.” he said to Tobias. After the necessary calls were made Davy looked in the mirror to get a good look at the sports car that had been trying to pass them for the last 10 minutes. He now looked at Tobias and a grin appeared on his face. Tobias quickly checked his seatbelt. seconds later Davy slammed the breaks. The driver of the sports car noticed it to late and ran into the much larger van. The truck that was coming right after them saw it all and the breaks were slammed as well. This caused the truck to slip and soon it tumbled crushing the back of the sports car and blocking of the rest of the road. This was Davy's cue to take of again, while admiring his work in the mirror. He was satisfied, for now at least.

“And who are you?” Charles inquired.

“I am John and this is Peter” said the tallest of the two men, “We are with the Vatican section XIII, we hunt down and destroy evil creatures to protect God's children.”

“Then you are here to solve the slaughter on the airport?”

“Amongst other” Peter answered “we have been tracking this vampire for quite some time now. This is just one of it's many murders. Normally they are much more subtle and careful. We are as stunned as you are by this massacre.”

“Well I think you are just to late. She escaped and it seems she used the police force as a snack.”

“Two things”, John said, “Vampires only really need the blood, so the bodies will be around here somewhere. Some of them might actually still be alive. And second, this vampire is supposed to be the last vampire and we're quite sure this vampire is male, not female.”

“Those survivors, would we have to kill them? You know, before they turn into vampires as well.”

“No this is not needed. Vampires don't have real magical powers or anything, they are just very resilient creatures that prey on humans. It's not transmittable or anything. However this is nor the time, nor the place for this talk. We have more urgent matters to attend to.”

“You're right.” said Charles while moving to his desk. All of the sudden he stopped and looked outside. He noticed a rather familiar van parked just outside the police station. He turned around. “We need to go to the basement, the armoury. We need to get some weapons.” he said.

“Why?”

Before Charles could answer he was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of a helicopter.

“RUN!!!!” he shouted now. An instant later the outer wall and the windows seemed to explode. Fragments of glass, stone and wood slit through each other while trying to escape from their self inflicted carnage. Then the desk fell prey to the bullets and was ripped to splinters, and soon the entire interior had been transformed into shrapnel. The siege seemed to continue for forever. Then the sound of the explosions faded and only the drumming of the helicopter's blades remained.

Charles, John and Peter found themselves lying on the ground, dazed and surprisingly alive. It seemed like the entire building had been shattered. The floors were full of holes and the walls were nothing more than frames picturing the devastation that had taken place in the next room.

“Are you guys all right?” Charles asked.

“I am fine”, John said, “How about you Peter?”

A faint groan was all they heard.

“Peter!” John shouted, while trying to stand up.

“Be careful”, Charles said, “I don't think the floor can take much more.”

John heard the floor cracking beneath is feet. Slowly he tried to approach Peter. Suddenly they heard something else, the cracking of the stairways. Someone was coming up. Charles slowly took out his gun, pointing it at the dooropening. Soon two men appeared. As soon as they saw Charles, John and Peter they hid behind the doorpost. This abrupt movement made the entire floor tremble.

“Be careful!” Charles shouted.

The two men didn't get the time to respond. Two shots echoed through the hallway. The two men collapsed onto the floor. Then someone else appeared.

“Finally,” John said, “what took you so long?”

“I was held up by some corpses.”

“This is no time to be exploring your sexuality. Did you get the guns?”

“What do you think these are?” asked the men while holding a pair of rifles. He tossed them towards John, who tried to catch one of them. This appeared to be a bad idea. The floor started collapsing and everyone tumbled down to the second floor. After which the second floor tumbled down to the first floor, which in response tumbled down to the basement. The four now lay on top of the rubble, groaning and trying to pull themselves together. John was the first one who was able to move again. He quickly headed for Peter. He took Peters arm to check it pulse, but he soon put the arm down again and searched for Peters body. He found it lying under a bit of rubble. There was no doubt about it now, Peter had passed on. John got up and rushed towards the new man. He picked him up by his collar and shouted “this is all your fault!”

“Calm down,” said the man calmly, “unless you want to meet your friend in heaven right now.”

John released the man. “We never should have allowed you to come along.” John said.

By now Charles also managed to get up. He interrupted John and the man's bickering.

“We have no time for this,” Charles said, “Davy's reinforcements will be here soon. We got to prepare for them.”

“I'll take care of that,” the man said. And then he was gone.

“Who is this guy?” Charles now asked.

“He's some magician. He wanted to come along to hunt the vampire. It didn't seem like such a bad idea at first, since no one has any experience fighting vampires. We just figured any help would be welcome.”

“Okay. Now lets get out of here.”

“But what about Peter? We can't just let him lie here like this.”

“We can give him a proper burial after the fight is over. It won't help him if you die as well.”

“You're right. So where do we go?”

“To the vampire's liar,” Charles grinned.

Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2 Multiplayer

2009-11-13T20:37:00.000+01:00

Looks like I wanted to rant... Here's the link to my first public rant ever!

http://www.infinityward.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=137014&p=2935602#p2935602

Oh Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2? The multiplayer gameplay rules...the multiplayer system sucks hairy donkey balls, after said donkey has been tea-bagging a heap of cow-shit for at least 6 hours straight.

Yes, I am frustrated...

--Warynn out

Why we are shy

2009-09-29T21:06:00.004+02:00

It's the reason!!

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/creepy.png

The recurring Light at the End!

2009-09-15T23:28:00.006+02:00

Consciousness drifted down into the void. A consciousness that felt alone as it was beset upon by the great nothing. A consciousness that started to feel fear in the unrelenting loneliness. So it started to defend itself, to think, to gather upon itself to keep it safe. Name, it needed a name. Perhaps... Ryu. Yes, Ryu felt familiar. It felt good, used by people who cared. So Ryu kept thinking, flashes of images all speeding by, gaining cohesion by the second. Happy images, of the light that was present in the void. But they came laced with a vivid melancholy. Images of a life that seems already gone, of a past seemingly so long ago. Of friends and family. Of brotherhood. Of a beloved sister swept away, by the dark. A home that no longer felt like home. A place he needed to get away from. A place of dark feelings and darker deeds. Of rampant emotions and bleak consequences. Suddenly it was as if the dark felt it could win, to subvert and take over this intruder. Ryu...the consciousness felt itself being surrounded and locked in.

So again Ryu fell in a dark room. A room from years past. A place normal people would call home, now corrupted and twisted into the cage, locking away all thought, sapping at the captive within. But the consciousness that was Ryu was not without it's final defences. A place like home would allow an inhabitant like himself. So he weaved himself a form. Legs, a torso, arms and a head coalescing like a gibbering mass from it's mind.
So control was possible. Ryu looked around in the room. It looked like a modern living room, comfortable leather couches around a small table. A television and sound installation against the opposite wall, a clear view for all who enjoyed their seats. Little flowers on the table, a bleak mirror of the usual brighting effect they had on the room. A fireplace next to the TV, with empty photos on a support beam above the cosy stove. Windows closed by curtains with a soft square pattern, and next to them a cabinet filled with books, their shapes and sizes as numerous as the colours were few... Actually, non-existant. The black and white veil was everywhere, marring what would be a warm and welcome room, altering and turning it's purpose from one of safety to one of bleakness.
In this room, exactly in the middle, there was Ryu. Just like last time. Everything was clearer though, more tangible to the mind as Ryu turned his new formed body and scanned around. He felt his face contort in disgust as details sprung to his eye and were discarded. It was all fake. Curtains did not hide windows, but just bare wall. The fireplace was as empty and the chimney as walled off as the void he was in. The flowers shined like plastic in the eerie all-present light as the couches felt cold and hard. Ryu shook his head and turned around, bare wall looking down upon him as their captive stared back. Stared for a way out.
Just like last time, when the need to leave grew strong, a door appeared. And just like last time a shadow stepped through, undulating and growing, it's voice dark and grating as it drilled itself in the mind. The feeling of Death arriving. "You are here... Once more. You seek to leave, but I shall keep you. Pain will not allow you an exit this time. You. Are. Mine!" It moved closer...

"Why" Ryu spoke. The shadow halted, puzzled by the sound as it's movement felt still. "What would you have with me? What purpose for keeping me?"
The shadow shook, a silent laughter in the face of verbal opposition. It moved closer again and wrapped an end around Ryu. "Because... we are one. We cannot be seperated. It is what we are." It placed a tendril on Ryu's shoulder and turned him towards the fireplace. Dark picture frames lighted up and showed their contents. A family. Four people, two adults and 2 kids, one teenaged, one still child, standing together in harmony. Only a smile recognisable on the emptiness of their faces. Around those ,the same children again but older, surrounded by numerous other persons, probably friends. Standing in a park, and in front of a house. Playing at a party, the adults drinking and the children chasing eachother. Ryu shuddered. He knew he was one of them. The little child, with as big a smile as the rest of this dark family. The grown up young man, with friendship ties that would last a lifetime. It's different from what actually happened. Reality was...a lot darker. All the time fights when he was little. The constant yelling and verbal abuse. The leaving of his useless father, left behind with his bitter mother. The only person he cared about his sister... Her becoming incurably ill later, and dying after 2 months of suffering. Him all alone, starting college with an empty heart and dulled mind, barely hanging on, getting a run-down apartment in the suburbs. A life of potential almost nipped in the bud, with only reason why it sprouted the sheer determination and elimination of all doubt through the elimination of most emotions. Just biting down and going. Just keep going, feeding on the dark.

Ryu understood. The darkness is what kept him alive. Coming home to a run down empty apartment. No one to love him, or care about him. The days at school stressing to good keep grades, only to come home to *that*. The neighborhood full of thugs and scum with him trying to make a living in the middle. The darkness urging him to take several self defense classes, him carving an existence within the garbage of society. Keeping him alive. The darkness was him. He was The Dark!
Ryu nodded and looked at the dark creature that was him... The tendrils reached out to surround him, almost as a lover that caressed his body. They touched him... inside of him, and began to feed. Ryu felt his mind glaze over and closed his eyes...

"NO!! Wake yourself Ryu!!" The voice came out of nowhere as a ray of light piercing through the clouds. Kaz's voice woke Ryu back up from the daze, a stab of white in the darkened mind. Kaz! How could Ryu forget Kazimir. The one good thing to come from all of it. Ryu met him a few months in his freshman year, an open minded and good-laughs kid with red curly hair and a warm aura. He befriended the silent and dark Ryu by the sheer power of being able to relate to Ryu in an unique empathic way. Whatever Ryu was thinking at a time, Kaz would know it and start talking about it, making it accessible, making Ryu look up from his inner thoughts and reach out to the world. When he was around, Ryu could feel like smiling again. Because of him Ryu started hanging out with people he liked, and although most found Ryu's company a bit unnerving they accepted him. Kaz was a real friend, the truest of them all. And now he was dead. Dead but not forgotten. Ryu would always honor his friend in whatever way was possible. Kaz would not allow him to succumb to his own dark self. Once Ryu had a really depressing day, punks had bashed down his door, trashing half his place before Ryu could hurt them enough to leave him alone. A lot of items with good memories were damaged in the process. So Ryu turned inward, and pushed everyone away, including Kaz. But Kaz wouldn't allow it. He slapped Ryu full in the face and proceeded with talking about carrying on and honoring memories having friends to lighten the load. Ryu was so dumbfounded about the effort that Kaz put into it that he forgot all about the accident for the rest of the day. Kaz even helped straighten up the apartment and mended a picture frame of Ryu and his sister. It meant the world to Ryu. So even with Kaz gone, Ryu could not and would not betray his best friend's memory.

The creature felt something change and pulled back it's tendrils with a jerk. It shuddered and undulated, whipping it's extremities up and down on Ryu. Ryu's answer was to grimace, pull back his arm and let out a scream of defyance, his punching with his palm outwards, pushing back inside of the creature, pushing it's core away, locking it into itself. The creature vanished with a wail like a banshee and Ryu screamed again at the room. Panting deeply, he looked around the room again and found the door. He approached and turned the handle. The voice sounded again. "Ryu, keep going! I'll stay here for now!" Kaz! I'll return for you, buddy. Honor to your soul!

The door opened and light flooded in. It surrounded and swallowed Ryu... Just like Kaz's friendship scooped up Ryu in the days he needed a friend the most.

Hey nick!!

2009-08-11T14:11:00.000+02:00

void XMLParser::startElement(const XML_Char* name, const XML_Char** atts)
{
m_inputNaam = name;
if(m_inputNaam == _T("module"))
{
m_CurrentModule = new Module();
VulIn(atts[0],atts[1]);
VulIn(atts[2],atts[3]);
VulIn(atts[4],atts[5]);
VulIn(atts[6],atts[7]);
m_VectorRef.push_back(m_CurrentModule);
}
}

void XMLParser::VulIn(tstring attribuutNaam, tstring waarde)
{
tstringstream stream;
if(attribuutNaam == _T("naam"))
{
m_CurrentModule->SetNaam(waarde);
}
else if(attribuutNaam == _T("aantal"))
{
stream< int i;
stream >>i;
stream.str(_T(""));
stream.clear();
m_CurrentModule->SetAantal(i);
}
else if(attribuutNaam == _T("type"))
{
m_CurrentModule->SetType(waarde);
}
else if(attribuutNaam == _T("techlevel"))
{
if(waarde == _T("2"))
m_CurrentModule->SetTech2(true);
else
m_CurrentModule->SetTech2(false);
}
}

Falling in home

2009-05-30T00:01:00.002+02:00

Ryven led Ryu around what can only be described as a warren of different platforms, stairs and walkways, ascending over huge branches carrying houses, huts and storage rooms, descending under and around them, disappearing between the big leaves once you got past them. Ryu's sense of direction had given up and fled the first five minutes of walking and he hasn't tried to recover it since. The turns and twists were just too...unforgiving for that. On the other hand, nausea had left as well, and Ryu had actually been able to divert some of his attention of putting one foot steadily in front of the other to listening to Ryven and looking around at the exotic sight. It seems Ryven was trying to hear him out about where he came from and why his clothes were so strange. He felt slightly irritated at his persistence so he made up some quick answers. Of course explaining about technology seemed to be as much as a pain in the backside as one would expect, he simplified his excuses very much. The clothes he couldn't explain at all, so he just said some stuff. Confusion seemed plain on Ryven's face, so Ryu stopped saying anything quickly enough. When one question about magic came up Ryu answered he liked made up stories from books, of course there being no "magic", but Ryven shook his head gravely. Ryu tried returning some questions, but Ryven also answered shallowly. He did seem to have a light sense of humor however, the occasional comment seemed aimed to make Ryu chuckle, and he forgot his worries for a bit. Ryu found it strange that such a bear of a man had such a light way about him. The worries and nerves returned however when Ryven mounted the steps to what seemed a quite and well-faring wooden house built on several of the huge branches. Ryu had no idea where exactly in the Tree City he was now, but as he looked around it seemed as this place was pretty isolated. Only a few houses were visible, and those some branches away. Which probably meant walking around for half an hour just to find the stairs that would give access to the house. Ryven waited for Ryu at the door as Ryu hesitantly made his way up to the front porch.
"Ready?" Ryven looked Ryu up and down as Ryu slowly shook his head and squared his shoulders. "Not really...but I guess I'll never be." Ryven heaved a small sigh as he nodded and turned to the door. He knocked the door gently as few times and waited, looking at Ryu hiding himself against the wall next to the door. Ryven shook his head and grabbed Ryu by his collar trying to drag him in front of the door.
"Oy, let go! Gahh!! Stop pulling you, dammit!". As Ryu got pulled backward, he felt his balance slipping and threw out his hand, which landed in Ryven face, earning him a muffled grunt.
Right at that moment the door opened and a smiling Sylvan woman looked upon the scene with warm eyes.
"Ryven, what are you doing here? Oh, this must be our guest then, Ryu right?". Ryu felt Ryven push him off and quickly regained his balance as he took his hand from the other's face, and apparently his fingers out of his mouth. Wiping the salivated hand on his leg Ryu tried to compose himself and failing miserably as he stammered an answer. "Ye-yes, ma'am. I-I'm Ryu." He coughed shyly and even managed a slight bow, but feeling quite foolish, he ducked his head and felt his face growing hot.
Ryven watched him with a doubtful look on his face and addressed the woman. "Yes, Leyra, this is the human that was found in the Eastern Desert." The woman - Leyra - turned towards Ryven with a slight frown on his face. "Don't talk about him like that. We're all children of the Mother, Ryven. If I remember what the Oracle said, his name is Ryu." Ryven seemed slightly abashed and nodded. "Sure, I'll use his name, as long as he refrains from further sticking his fingers down my throat." Ryu just grunted sourly and seemed unaware that he was still wiping his fingers on his leg. Suddenly the woman smiled broadly. "Don't just stand there, come in, come in!". She placed a hand on Ryu's arm and urged him in, Ryven following as Ryu let himself be guided. They quickly passed a small income hall where Ryu was instructed to remove his boots. Inside they entered what seemed the living room. It was an open and brightly decorated room. The lightly colored wood of the floor and walls was accented by light green plants and crystal objects ranging from purple to yellow through green -of course-. The room was neatly furnished to appear both cosy and open. On one end there was a large table elaborately carved with curved vines and leaves, with six matching chairs, two on each side and one on the ends. two peculiar leather sofas took up most of the other side, one large enough for thee persons, the other for two. Also some chairs designed for lounging were placed opposite the sofa's with a small table in the middle that looked like it was made out of hardened tree sap, only the color was all wrong. On the table was a crystal carving like the ones Ryu saw on the wall of the halls back at the Oracle's place only smaller and not casting light. Next to it was a stick of incense letting off tendril of scented smoke that seemed to cast slow eerie shadows on the walls of the living room. Behind the living place was a rail less staircase that seemed to go up to a second floor, part of which seemed like an open platform looking down on the living room. Ryu could also make up some doors up there, so he guessed those must be the sleeping rooms. Leyra put Ryu down in the smaller of the two couches, while Ryven sat in one of the lounge chairs. Ryu tried not to shy back as Leyra took a seat next to him and placed a cup of sweet smelling thee in front of him. Ryu felt uncertainty settle in for the long run.
"So then Ryu, tell me something about yourself". Ryu sighed momentarily and thought about the advice the Oracle had given him. And if this is where he was to stay, he shouldn't start by making the people here uncomfortable, so he shied away from the question while trying to keep the uncertainty from his voice. He failed miserably at that. "Hehe... I don't know. What's there to tell? I'm... not really that special." Leyra let out a giggle and continued smiling at Ryu. "Nonsense dear. You're the first human here in Tyranna in a few hundred years, you're special al right." Ryu felt himself falter and sighed again. "Right, ehh.... I don't know, I'm, 20 years old, I'm a kind of...eh student prog-- euh technical... stuff... magic, I live - lived - alone in a small studio... apartment, kind of a small house inside a house. I like music, I do some ...sports, and I try stuff out, like playing intruments and martial arts in my free time...aaaaand thats it?" Ryu finished with a half smile, feeling like he's been wrung out and hung to dry. Leyra picked up the half smile and nodded "I see, very well then. Well my name is Ley'ranah Ni'daliath, but everyone calls me Leyra. I live here with my two children, Dalhon and Vi'jona, eight and nineteen. I'm still quite young myself for seventy two years old." Her smile became a little brighter as Ryu's eyebrow shot up in surpise.
"Ehh, what, seventy two?? Young?... wait, Ryven how old are you?"
"one hundred and eighty six" Ryven casually answered.
Another shock entered Ryu as the pieces in his head came together. "You...live longer than us... I mean, hell, I wish I'd look like that when I'm your age... I mean I would have said a healthy 25...perhaps 30 in the extremes..but..." Ryu fell without words as everything flashed home. Why didn't he notice sooner? Magic healing, medieval swords and armour, elf-like people, rasicm against humans, huge lifespans. This was the stuff of fantasy. There are the kind of things that you read about in books, see in videogames, or see on TV. Not in front of you. Not sitting next to you. Not inside and around you...!! He took a slight sip of the thee, it tasted quite exotic, but sweet, he didn't know what it could have been made of. As he put the cup down Ryu noticed a sparkle dance in the thee. Suddenly he felt the pain in his chest he felt before in the infirmary and the blood suddenly pumping at an increased rate to his brain made Ryu feel very dizzy. He looked around the room as colours blended and sounds started to fade. He swayed once, as suddenly he felt several hands supporting him. He coughed once... twice and tried to sit up supported by the hands. He thought he recognised Ryven's voice through the haze.
"What thee is this Leyra? It made him sick fast!"
"It's Melve'eh leaf. It comes from the brushes near the mages' compound. Why is it having this effect, we drink this all the time. Perhaps humans are allergic to it?"
"Lay him down quick."
The voice haze got thicker soon, and Ryu closed his eyes as once again he felt himself slip away.

Oblivion beckons again, a call undeniable by all...

Chapter 1: Blood dawn part 5

2008-12-08T22:16:00.001+01:00

Charles was looking at his second case for this day. This night, he corrected himself. The bodies seemed unspoiled as they lay there. An undertaker could not have positioned them more peaceful. The carpet however was stained with blood, shards of bone and remainders of tissue. Then there was the message on the wall, written in blood: “Your next”. The murderer obvious wasn't a scholar, but he seemed to know what he was doing. He had cleaned up the room after the murder, except for the carpet and the message of course. Someone was dusting for fingerprints but he has not yet found a single one.

Charles went into the kitchen, to see if anything useful could be found there. He discovered some blooded shards of a vase in the trash and a knife that was lying a bit to obvious on the kitchentable. He bagged both and handed them over to someone of forensic, before returning to his car. He had seen enough here, it was time to interrogate their witness a bit more thoroughly. Back in his car he started putting the pieces he had seen together. But for now it didn't seem to make any sense, hopefully Maya could change this.

Back at the police station he found Maya in an interrogation room. She was just sitting there, trying to hide her tears, but without any success. All her make-up was already washed away, and she almost looked like a different person now, a much older person.

“First of all I'd like to give you my condolences.” Charles started.

“That's such a void statement” Maya said in between several sniffs.

“What a big mouth for such a small and sad girl.”

“I just don't like insincere people.”

“I was just trying to be polite, but if that's how you react ...”

“Hey! I just lost my family. I mean ...” the rest was lost in a stream of tears.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I just want to help you,” Charles said softly, “I want to catch the bastards who did this. But for that I need some help. Don't you want to help me?”

“I do,” Maya stumbled, “ but I feel so confused ... and alone ... and completely exhausted. I don't know what to do any more. It all seems so unreal and I “

Charles interrupted her “Maybe you should get some rest then.” And maybe I should get some too, he added in his mind. “I'll leave you then.”

Back in his office he almost collapsed. “What am I doing?” he asked himself, “When did I become so involved? Why can't I let it all go, even for a second? When Did I become so unprofessional?” With great trouble he managed to reach his chair, as soon as he sat down the questions started coming again. He tried to focus, to find some answers but he couldn't. The girl, it has to do with her. But what was it that dragged him in? As much as he despised her, he couldn't help loving her. What was so special about her? Her gaze rips right through him, as a blade, cutting out the scars, soothing and hurting at the same time. Who was she? She talked as if she had known him all his life, but she was as eager and interested as a child seeing something for the first time. And why...? Why...?

“Sir?”
“Sir?!?”
Charles looked up. He saw someone standing in the door opening. A man. A cop. He looked at the room. It looked different. Then he saw the clock. Five hours had passed.

“Sir?”

Finally Charles took the hint. “Yes?”, he replied.

“The first reports are in. The bodies we found at the house have been dead for 24-36 hours, the most probable cause of death is the loss of blood, together with the removal of several vital organs. Further there are some bruises. The body we recovered from the airport has only been dead for 24h at the most, but the full autopsy is still to be preformed. We also did a check on the people in that house and it appears they had no daughter.”

Charles jumped up when he heard this. He was already out of his office before the policeman could continue.
“But sir, there is one other thing I have to tell you.”

Charles didn't seem interested in what the policeman had to say.

“Davy Jones is back in town.”

Hearing that name Charles completely froze. For a while he hesitated. Then he turned around, took the documents from the cop's hand and rushed towards the exit, yelling: “Make sure you keep her here!”

Charles never believed in coincidence. Davy Jones had or has something to do with everything that was going on. But the question was what. What could he possibly gain by killing so many people? Maybe they were testing a new weapon. Maybe one of their agents had gone rogue on them. Or maybe it was just a test, to verify the skills of the police corps. Even though he would get the answer there it was better to be prepared since he knew his opponent was going to be. And what would be the fun if either party was significantly weaker? This is true for both discussions and fighting. Challenges is what makes life fun. It had been quite a while since he had a chance to compete with the master himself. The ringing of his mobile phone brought him back into reality. Which was odd since he didn't own a mobile phone. He pulled over and looked around to see where his automatic pilot had guided him. He was nearly at Davy's private airport. He turned his attention back to the ringing and reached back to grab the phone from the back seat.

“Hello?”

“Hey Charles, Toby here. Could you flash your lights?”

Charles flashed with his lights.

“Thanks” Toby spoke “Davy is in hangar 1”

Then Toby hung up. Charles proceeded to meet his arch-enemy. But he would not like this meeting seeing he was severely disadvantaged and not prepared at all.

Davy and his gang were waiting outside the hangar. Most of the people there he knew, however there were two new faces among them. One of them had now also noticed Charles and was looking back. There was something strange about this man's eyes. It looked like they could peer through the sun itself and instantly freeze it. All of the sudden Charles wasn't feeling at ease any more. His heartbeat and breathing accelerated. He tried to look away from the man, but he could not. Then another feeling started to come through, a feeling of sadness, of grieve. Slowly tears started coming to his eyes. As his mind started screaming “STOP! NO MORE” his body now completely froze. It was like his brain was no longer a part of his body. He could no longer feel his own limbs, it was all overshadowed by a sea of sorrow. His mind started pleading for death however he had not the strength to give into it. Then all of the sudden the man looked away and Charles totally lost it. He had to gasp for air, sweat started pouring out of his pores. He slowly started feeling his limbs again and step by step he seemed to be taken control of himself again.

By the time he was calm again two men had taken place on the backseat of his car.

“Hello Charles” said Davy “allow me to introduce Vlad, my European business associate, to you. I hope he didn't scare you to much?”

Charles look at the other person and looked quickly away when he recognised the man that had been staring.

“So? What have you got for me Charles?”

“How deeply involved are you in the airport massacre?” Charles answered.

“I had nothing to do with it. However I can always appreciate a work of art. Got any photo's?”

Charles handed him a file while adding the words: “what are we dealing with here?”

Davy and Vlad looked through the pictures together.

“It's definitely a supernatural creature.” Vlad started. “It's a by nature physical entity, non-physical entities leave different traces. Seeing the damage on the walls my first guess would be beasts, however those would have eaten a lot more of their victims. Also it seems to be done by something intelligent. The leftovers seem to be intentional as a sort of challenge. Is this far from the entrance?”

“Yes”

“Okay then it is most definitely humanoid. This leaves only vampires, summoners and inner demons. And neither of those seems to make sense. Vampires wouldn't leave clawmarks on the walls. Summoners would imply that those beasts are still in this reality and they would have also eaten more of the bodies. Inner demons don't care about fleshly mutilation, if it were those you would have a lot of complete hollow bodies, stripped of their essence. One last but very unlikely option is a hybrid. However if we're going to believe these exist we might as well start believing in leprechauns.”

“Any witnesses?” Davy asked.

“Just one. Profile her.” Charles said while passing another file.

This was Davy's speciality. “Her face looks young but her eyes give the impression she's over a hundred years old. Her behaviour is inconsistent, which she says is linked to her emotional state. She has a way of charming people around her. Even you can't resist her, Charles. But at the same time she frightens anyone who is near her. Though no one can explain it, they feel like there is an evil aura surrounding her. Am I right?”

Charles kept quiet. This meant he was right, and that he was beating Charles this game.

“So we're not sure who or what she is, but I'm damn sure she's deeply involved in this. Though she won't tell cause she uses her charms to guide anyone's thoughts away from this issue. Not even the great inspector Turner can withstand a little girl like this. Maybe you should ask Dr. Underwood to do a quick medical check on you.”

Charles brutally interrupted Davy: “Wipe that grin of your face and get out of my car!”

Before Davy got out he handed over the files to Charles saying: “Here you go. I hope this doesn't affect our friendship?”

Charles replied with more silence.

“So be it” Davy spoke “in that case I'll wish you an exciting race and good hunt.”

Davy and Vlad now left the car and they watched Charles drive away.

“You know who we're looking for now. She'll be hiding in the crowds. Scan the police frequencies for clothing store robberies. She won't be far. I'll take care of our religious fanboys.” Davy said.

Vlad nodded. Then they went back to prepare their hunts.

Invitations

2008-08-19T22:12:00.005+02:00

From behind a nearby corner a rather large Sylvan male hurried towards Ryu and Tayana, a stern look on his face. Upon seeing the sylvan, Tayana relaxed and dropped what she was holding behind her back. Ryu noticed the knife from Dhokas' goon buddy as it clattered upon the floor.
The Sylvan looked at Ryu and then at Tayana and started talking with an hurried look on his face.
"Tayana, what was all that ruckus here, I just saw Kaven's brother and his punk buddies hurrying towards the Mages' guild and..." He fell silent as he looked behind Tanaya's back at the unconscious Dhokas and his goons. "Oh...right, well you handled that nicely. I'd have them punished but they already look pretty roughed up." He nodded and added "To be expected from you."
Tayana nodded back with a smile. "It's not all my work though, this hu'man here took care of one the boys nicely. I only needed to step in when they started playing dirty."
This seemed to surprise the Sylvan and he turned towards Ryu with a respectful smile on his face.
"So you're the human who was found outside. Good job, if it's true what Tanaya said."
Ryu nodded sullenly, rubbing the bump on his head "Yeahwell, thanks I guess. I have a name though, it's Ryu, if you'd be so kind to use it..."
The Sylvan barked a laugh "Hah!! Of course Ryu. I'm Ryven, nice to meet you. I'm the current leader of the Warrior's Guild."
Hearing the word leader, Ryu suddenly felt a bit intimidated in the presence of this Sylvan. That, and his size, they guy was big, and *broad*. He bowed ever so slightly. "Yeah..."
Ryven smirked and turned to Tayana "Moh'r Kahs'den seems to have some congregation again, go and sort things out will ya, I'll take over from you. I also have an errand from the Oracle again, it seems we've solved one problem for Ryu here."
Tanaya nodded quickly "Thanks friend" and nodded at Ryu "Human." before running off.
Ryu sighed heavily and grumbled under his breath. Ryven caught the hint and placed a hand on Ryu's shoulder "Don't mind her, she's just grumpy since she took you back here. Not really sure why, but it'll get better. Girls..."
Ryu let out a chuckle and nodded gravely "Yeah...girls", a small grin appearing on his face, but quickly disappearing again. "So, you said you solved a problem for me?"
Ryven started walking "Yeah, I'll explain later, but walk with me. I'll take you back to the Oracle, she'll explain it to you." Ryven slightly smirked "Heh, two audiences with the Oracle on one day, you sure must be quite important. Some people here don't even get to see her face to face once a year."
Ryu arched an eyebrow , while keeping up with Ryven's quick pace. "I have no idea why though. Most people look at me as if they see a ghost, and if they do seem to believe the sight of me they avoid me like trash."
"You can't blame the people, Ryu. Humans have fought against us in skirmishes close to war for decades. The hate is deep. Even though you seem unlike most humans, no-one will care. Well, almost no-one..." For a moment Ryu thought Ryven's lips quirked in a smile, but he quickly dismissed it.
Ryu sighed heavily and followed Ryven to the doors of the Oracle's audience room. As one of the guards saw Ryu he pushed the door open for him and bashed the shaft of his spear on the floor bellowing Ryu's name without asking for it. Ryu shrugged and Ryven gave Ryu a slight push on his shoulder. "In you go, I'm not coming with you." Ryu looked back at Ryven and sighed. Great, he thought as he stepped uncertainly into the darkness.
As the doors closed behind him the scenery became visible for him, again the single beam of light on the bird, the majestic symbol of these strange proud people, and again Ryu felt tense as he stepped forward.
The kind voice seemed to come from the back. "Still haven't learned to relax? Well I have to admit, this place was built to intimidate. But lets keep this loose and void of ceremony shall we? Come over here."
Ryu hesitantly nodded and walked over the bird symbol towards the back of the room. The room seemed lighter as Ryu moved forward and seemed bright enough at the back of the room. There the Oracle sat in front of a desk with 3 more chairs around it. She motioned to chair closest to her. "Come sit, we have things to discuss." Ryu bowed slightly in a formal show of respect and quietly sat down on the chair next to her. He tried to lean back and relax, but his muscles didn't allow for much leaning as they started to ache. Swallowing once he looked at the Oracle as she smiled and slightly shook her head at Ryu's obvious unease. She opened a drawer in her desk and took out three items, covered in dust and sand, laying them before Ryu on the desk. Ryu recognized them immediately. They were his personal items he had with him the moment that truck crashed on him: his wallet, his MP3-player/recorder and his cellphone. At least, what remained of the last. The Oracle must have watched Ryu's face. She commented dryly "So these do belong to you." Pushing the MP3 and the cellphone bits around a bit she looked up at Ryu. "I hope you could tell me some about these...artifacts. Our best scholars have come up with nothing about these two, but they were able to gather some information about you from the first." She stroked the wallet and proceeded to pick it up and give it to Ryu. Eyeing her sideways, he took the wallet and put it in his side pocket. Poking the broken cellphone he softly shook his head. "This is broken... It's called a cellular telephone, or cellphone for short. It's an...ah... communications device." He studied the two parts and smiled slightly as he recovered the miraculously undamaged battery and Sim card from them, holding them up for the oracle to see. "This is the power unit. Supplies portable electricity for the device to work." At the sound of the word electricity the Oracle slowly waved her hand about the power unit. "I sense...lightning. Lightning in a tiny box?" Ryu nodded slightly before lowering the battery and raising the tiny card in his other hand. "And the other is the memory. Device can't function without it. Keeps numbers, network information, and the works." The Oracle shook her head slightly and pushed Ryu's hands away from her. "For all the knowledge we have..." The items vanished into Ryu's pockets as he shrugged slightly, a noncommital look on his face. As last he scooped up the MP3 player and earphones and turned them over in his hands for examination. The small MP3 player seemed to have nearly no damage aside from scratches and dust on the black plastic, although there seemed to be some sand under the display cover. Shaking it irritably, some grains fell from between the few buttons and the earphone slot. The earphones themselves looked to be in an okay shape, just a few kinks in the cables, and Ryu tried to smoothen those out easy enough. As he plugged the earphones in the black unit and pressed the power button the display lighted up and suprise flashed across the Oracle's face, but she seemed to recompose herself quickly. Ryu raised the earphones to his ears and nodded appreciatively at the music. "A connection to home..." Murmuring softly, he motioned for the Oracle to come closer and pressed the other earphone in her long pointed ears. The suprise stayed on her ageless face this time as Ryu scrolled through his music library for an instrumental melodic song. He explained the brief concept of an MP3 player, demonstrated the recording function with his own voice, and cautioned her that is was nothing dangerous, only sound plucked from the air and converted to electricity, or better, lightning. He almost felt like explaining to a little child. After a few more moments of music Ryu turned the player off, rolled the earphone cables up and grinned with a broad self indulgent self satisfying smile on his face as he thrust the MP3 in his pockets along with the rest.
The look on the Oracle's face changed from surprise to silent commanding disapproval at Ryu's arrogance, and her voice dropped slightly in temperature. "A box that traps music, and a communication's device. Both using lightning? And one smaller than the other. This is dangerous if word should get out. I will allow you to keep them, since they are yours, but it is best not to go bragging about it to everyone. There is enough superstition already without people thinking their voices and sounds can be trapped and reproduced in a tiny box." Ryu felt his enthusiasm short-lived as the previous feelings of uncertainty and nervousness resurfaced. The Oracle seemed to view him in a different light now, like a new kind of animal that is being appraised if it could be tamed or if it was dangerous. Ryu tried not to show his uneasiness as those calculating eyes penetrated into his soul. Foolish thoughts, get over it, Ryu thought. It couldn't be that bad. Ryu gave a start as the Oracle spoke again.
"In any case, that's not all for which I called you here. We have found a family that is willing to take you in." Ryu blinked wildly at the idea of some of these people taking him in. A human, known enemies who shed Sylvan blood in border skirmishes. Or so he has been told. And a *family* is going to take him in? Light, don't let them hate me... He'd sooner take his chances in the forest. Trying not to fidget nervously in his chair he looked up at the Oracle. "Yes, Ryven has been asking around using his influence. He says he found a family where you can live. I've spoken to them and they are very friendly and welcoming. I'm sure they will help you fit in quite decently. Ryven will escort you as you go out." Ryu nodded half-heartedly and started to rise as the Oracle gave him a sheet of yellow paper with some days and times on. Strange names for them. "Before you go, this is a schedule when I'll be expecting you in my classroom 2 doors from here. I'll be teaching you our language and customs, and this way I can also keep my eye on you." She smiled motherly before quickly assuming that calculating calmness again. "Don't be late"
Ryu eyed the paper before folding it and tucking it away and walking to the big door. Thoughts and scenarios played in his mind, of cruel sylvans making his life miserable day by day, of him living in nothing more than a storage room, with barely any daylight and spoiled meals, of sylvans looking down on him every second of his life. Only a quiet sense of fatalism and resignation made him not run for the nearest escape door that moment. Wherever he would find an escape...
As Ryu opened the door, Ryven straightened from the wall and approached him. "So, how did it go?" Ryu felt in his pockets for his items and shrugged slightly. No need to tell him about technology, as the Oracle suggested. "I got my things back. Nothing special, just some personal items. And my wallet. Not that the money or identification papers would be any use here, so... Connections to home." Ryu sighed deeply at the thought of home. The unspoken wish that this is all just a dream, and waking up would return everything to the way it was before. Just a wish of course. But wishful thinking was part of his life it seemed. Ryven nodded slightly before going on. "Anything more perhaps?" Ryu slightly arched an eyebrow. "You are to escort me to my...new family..." Ryven grin couldn't be broader. He seemed to be very proud of himself. He gave Ryu a gentle start towards the Nexus, and Ryu let himself be led, his feet dragging as they stepped on one of the central lift-platforms. It took him several levels lower before Ryven led Ryu around towards the other side of the nexus and in to a wide, more cheerful hallway. Looking around Ryu saw light emitting veins and leaves all over the ceiling and walls in an intricate pattern, lighting the hallway as if it would have been in broad daylight on a sunny spring day. Soon the hallway gave way to an exit and Ryu found himself escorted on big wooden platforms, built between giant trees. Ryu gaped at the sight and even forgot to sulk as the scenery unfolded before him. Giant trees took up the horizon and held wooden houses in their gigantic branches. Platforms ran from each of those houses to a bigger center one that seemed to be built towards every tree and even *around* some of the trees. Ryu imagined him having to run for a couple of minutes to complete a circle around one of them. Looking behind him at the tree that housed the Nexus of Tyrana, he felt like an ant looking up at an old oak tree. The thing was even bigger than the others! The boards that made up the platform were also huge things in itself. The railings on the platforms seemed like they were grown from the boards, and no matter how much he squinted, Ryu could not find a single nail used in the construction. Everything was connected in a natural and esthetically pleasing way, grown rather than attached, bound instead of nailed down, more like glued than latched together. Supressing a sudden wobbly feeling in his knees, Ryu clutched a railing as the immense scale of it all hit home. Now he could understand how Tyrana could hold so many inhabitants. A single tree could give shelter to hundreds, and with skillfully built and planned houses, perhaps even thousands. Smaller platforms turned off the main walkway and even turned into stairs at some point as they ran up to groups of houses on branches, towards hallways in one tree or even down towards other walkways and platform paths. The idea of getting lost here came very easily, and Ryu imagined that finding your way back should be near impossible. Ryven looked back at him with a bemused smile on his face as Ryu straightened himself and kept his gaze strictly forward as he walked over to the sylvan. "Are you okay? You look a bit pale there." Ryu grunted sourly and muttered under his breath before swallowing deeply and nodding. "Lead on..." Ryu thought he heard the sylvan chuckle to himself as he lead him towards one of the trees a bit farther away. "Better get used to it. You'll be seeing this sight a lot more from now on." Ryu grumbled even more under his breath as he followed with careful steps, trying not to let his eyes wander and hoping dearly the man didn't see his feet falter every few steps.

Chapter 1: Blood dawn part 4

2008-07-01T20:16:00.003+02:00

Seeing as the blog is alive again I'll start updating a bit as well. Perhaps I'll find something else to write about once in a while, but for now lets just continue with the story. Enjoy!

Vladimir was staring at the mirror. He had been standing there for over 15 minutes, without moving a muscle. Behind him there was the soft sound of water streaming. The mirror was completely misted up. But Vladimir didn't care about that. He always looked beyond the mirror, gazing into infinity. His breath and heartbeat were perfectly tuned. Slowly and rhythmic his lungs filled with a new load of oxygen, needed for his brain to order what he had just seen. His memory was trying to capture everything, but left and right fragments went missing. He wasn't going to loose anything. He focused again and harder this time, forcing his thoughts to recall everything. The big picture was growing in his mind. Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by footsteps. Faster than any eye could see he grabbed a gun from under the sink, pulled open the door and pointed the gun at the face of whoever was standing behind it.
Marshall Edwards was surprised to see his boss out of bed already. He saw a look in his boss his eyes saying that he'd be death by now if his boss wanted too. Slowly Vladimir looked down until finally his eye fell on Edwards' left hand. In it there was a one shot pen pistol, aimed at his heart. After a short approving look in Edwards' direction he turned back into his bathroom. Edwards followed him in.
“Well the good news is that the apocalypse brigade is fully in order. It appears general Von Essen refused to have his tanks dismantled. The bad news is that it will take a least 2 weeks to reassemble one plasma artillery brigade.”
Vladimir now interrupted his high commander: “Are there any artillery brigades left?”
“Just one” was the reply.
“send it together with the apocalypse brigade to Danzig, under control of Von Essen of course. Also send a garrison with to secure the harbour area. Have our sub fleet prepare for transportation to any location of the earth. Order the militias in Copenhagen to be at full alert. If Denmark interferes with our plans they must be overthrown as quickly as possible. I do not want a small semi retarded Scandinavian country delaying our plans. As a matter of fact take full military control over Danzig and Copenhagen right now, and make sure that they are under martial law. Any questions?”
“With all respect, sir.” Edwards started “I don't think that the Polish government will allow ...”
Before he could finish the sentence Edwards found himself pinned against the wall with Vladimir holding him in a choke hold.
“Okay, here comes the clue train.” Vladimir hissed, “I AM the Polish government. And if I'm not the Polish government, then there is no Polish government. Understood?”
“loud and clear, sir!”
Edwards was released from his precarious situation. He rubbed his sore neck, still surprised of the immense strength and small man like his boss could have.
“Now do as I ordered you!” commanded Vladimir.
A short bow later Edwards was gone and Vladimir was alone with his thoughts again. This vivid conversation with his marshal however, had seriously disturbed his train of thoughts. Vladimir noticed he was slightly shaking and his heartbeat was out of control. He tried focusing on his breathing again to calm down. It didn't seem to be working now. To much was going through his head to calm down. After several fruitless minutes he decided that enough time was wasted already. He was a professional and he had work to do. He took a quick shower, just long enough to wash of the sweat of the past night. All freshened up he set out for the dining hall. To regain control of himself, Vladimir started to draw out plans for what needed to be done when they arrived in America.

When he arrived in the dining hall he saw the Edwards already passed by here, his breakfast was already ready. He took the tray with the exaggerated English breakfast and disappeared into the eating mass. After a while he found a place beside a young engineer. Vladimir sat down and switched the trays. The young engineer watched her grand master eat her humble breakfast with great disbelieve.
“Eat.” Vladimir said.
The young woman was even more confused now.
“I don't need all that fancy stuff,” Vladimir explained, “but I dare not tell the chef, he's very sensitive about this. He spends a lot of time making something special for me every day. If he'd knew I don't want it ... Well lets just say I'm not that mean.”
“This is good” the girl said while digging into the royal meal.
Vladimir informed about her name and what she did. He listened to tales of thermodynamics and theories of new powercouplings and their potentials. Even though he wasn't a highly schooled engineer, he got the gist of it. He also realised that this girl wasn't just another by-the-book employee. When he was finished eating he quickly wrote down her name.
“Well Marishka, I had a wonderful time.” said Vladimir, while standing up. “But I have to go now. I trust we will see each other again soon.”

Vladimir was now heading to the information centre. He was supposed to pick up his morning briefing there, but he also had something extra to do now. Under the way he refined his plans for in America. He always used short trips and walks like this to plot and plan. Without all the thinking he did while moving from one room to the other he probably would have never come this far. There was also not much else to do when walking around. The standard bare grey walls made it hard to appreciate them from an aesthetic point of view. Of course this place was never built for beauty, it was designed from a functional point of view. Efficiency was their primary goal and it seems they succeeded in this, but nothing more than that. In the I&C room Vladimir dropped a paper on the nearest desk, stating that he wanted her file. Then he picked up his laptop and the folder marked with 'morning briefing'. He took one last look at the room, but nobody spoke. Thus Vladimir turned around and left the room and traded it for the garage where his car was waiting to take him to his airport.

Everything at the airport was of course also properly organised. Only a few minutes after he arrived he was sitting in his private jet and a few minutes later the plane was well on it's way to the free skies. Once they were flying nice and stable, Vladimir decided it was time to get back to work. He first opened his morning briefing, just like last night there was not much unexpected information in it. The only thing that was concerning him was the oil supply. During the night three major and over a dozen minor depots had been attacked and burnt. If things continued like this their forces would probably run out of oil in one and a half week from now. Maybe they could take control of Baku and it's oil fields, but it might not be a good idea to wake a sleeping giant. Importing oil was simply impossible. They were on the verge of war with almost every oil exporting country in the world, they actually were on the verge of war with almost every country in the world. They had only one option now. First of all they needed to increase the security of all their oil fields and depots. Secondly they had to learn to use their oil more efficiently. This last thing would be a task for their new chief engineer. He now took out his laptop to take a quick look at Marishka's records. Vladimir was really pleased with what he saw in their, she was the best student of the year for many years during her education, her IQ was even higher than his own, and Vladimir was not a dumb person at all. The only thing she might lack was experience. She was young and has only been with them for 4 months (7 if you count the basic training). But she isn't going to get any experience by doing nothing, Vladimir thought. He permitted himself a faint smile as he remembered an ancient wisdom living under his men: “Promotions in this place are numerous and quick. But beware, for the highest rank is death.” But almost as fast as the smile came, it disappeared again. Vladimir turned back into his serious self and got back to work. He wrote a short memo for himself and then typed out an order for promotion and replacement. (needless to say, the one being replaced could at best serve as fertiliser afterwards.) He set the order to be sent at 1300h GMT +2, when he should also be receiving his next report. It was always best to limit the connection times. Their enemy wasn't dumb and it would be stupid to be tracked and killed because of this.
Vladimir's timing was perfect as always, as he put away his laptop the pilot announced that they would be landing in approximately 20 minutes from now. Their short journey to America was coming to an end, but soon a much longer and bigger journey would start. One that would change the world forever.

Anime Talk: Macross Frontier

2008-06-28T20:46:00.012+02:00

Well, any content is good at this point and I've been thinking about writing about some other stuff here for a short while, so here is the first installment of Anime Talk. Perhaps some other genres will be made up, and I'm going to prod my fellow writer if he wants to rant about something, so stay tuned.

In the first installment of Anime Talk I'm going to talk a bit about an anime series I've started watching recently, that is MACROSS FRONTIER.

Macross Frontier is the most recent series part of the Macross franchise, and celebrates the 25th anniversary of the original Super Dimension Fortress Macross TV series.

Prior to watching this series I had heard of Macross, but wasn't really interested as my mecha fandom only reached to Gundam series. But lately the visuals and idea behind Macross became more and more appealing so I've decided to give it a shot. And WHOW, I feel sad I haven't tried it sooner.

The first episode I watched left me shivering with anticipation and a whole puddle of drool in front of my chair. Yes, it's that good.

Visuals:
I now have 2 years of designer studies experience (one web, one graphical/gaming) and rarely have I seen a series where the design from technology, ships, mecha to culture, background (story and visuals) is so *good*, without appearing useless or over the top. The first time I saw a squadron of fighters sortie from the futuristic carrier I was amazed at the design of the carrier itself to holographic signs and visuals they used. Very stylish and at the same time functional.
Character designs seemed to be rather bland at first, but it gets better later on as see more and more. the costumes are not that original, but character visuals is not really what this anime is all about. World design and characters' stories is what it's all about.

Music:
the music is composed by Yoko Kanno, which was also a big attraction point for me, as I think she's one of the greatest modern day music composers. She made the music for Ghost in the Shell Series, for Ragnarok Online 2 (not that you people know it), for Wolf's Rain Anime, and so on. The music score for Macross F is a very poppy kind, somewhat unusual for Yoko in my opinion, but I still haven't heard a single song I don't absolutely love, 6 episodes so far in the series. I absolutely want the OST if I can find it here in Belgium. There are a lot of insert songs, which may or may not be a little disturbing for some people, but in my humble opinion it adds greatly to the aura and effect of the story, and frankly it gives me goosebumps. High score for this part too!

Story:
In the interest of not spoiling the entire story here, I'm going to be very vague about it, and just posting my general opinion here. The story is kind of a love triangle thing, set in a science fiction warfare time. The characters all have their respectful background stories and relationships to other characters and it adds greatly to the story. The background culture/world is very rich, which is probably also an effect given by the previous Macross series (this is a guess, as I haven't seen the previous series). The story contains an equal helping of drama, humour and romance and manages to balance these nicely, without the viewer getting the feeling of it being too much at any given time. It's really a 3 out of 3 with this!

So, here is my review/opinion about the Macross Frontier Series. Seeing as I am still new at this reviewing thing, I hope I haven't made too many mistakes. So there...!

Here are some relevant links!
A Gabriela Robin Site: News about Yoko Kanno, her (rumored) Alter Ego, and the music she makes (for Macross F ;)
Mendoi-Conclave (Menclave) Fansubs: The guys(/girls?) subbing this fantastic series! And other Anime, check em out!

See you next Deculture!!

--Warynn

Randomness breaking the silence

2008-06-07T17:54:00.002+02:00

So, seeing as the school year is officially over, grades have been attained (or lost) and a flood of free time now bears down upon us students, I deem it more than due that I should post something here.

I realise I've been neglecting this blog up to the point that my fellow writer/blogger has come to me with the question "Is it still worth writing on your blog?". When I heard that I felt a quite sharp pang of regret and guilt that it should have come this far. True, I intended great things, and I have failed miserably due to my lazyness and fear of useful work, but still it came to me as a shock that he should feel it has come to this. So here I'm going to try to actually bring the interwebs some interesting content. Yay me... *sees some tomatoes flying, fists being raised, fingers being offered, ect...* okay....

I have been peeking in my old experience as a web developer/designer and have been reinstalling programs and tools needed to be more productive so my lazyness doesn't kick in immediatly, but my school/work related laptop has conveniently broken down and is now in for reparation. I don't know when to get it back, but for now, it's still same old same old. Hooray for back-up laptops. *little sigh*

So here is to a better blog, a less lazy person writing this blog, and more kicks in the asses by people.

--Warynn

Favors

2007-11-26T19:39:00.000+01:00

Riiight, so I'm here to post a little message for the people visiting this blog. A friend of mine has an assignment for school where he hads to make and promote a website. My question for you visitors is now to just go and click the following link, so google will notice his site more then the others.
The site's about an imaginary butterfly-species called the "boomblauwoog", trying to inform the masses about it and denouncing the competitors' sites.
The site is unfortunately in dutch, but still, just one click won't hurt you! so CLICK:

Boomblauwoog Pomul site! http://boomblauwoog-pomul.awardspace.com/

Thank you all!

--Warynn

P.S. yesh the story will still continue, but school is being the biggest busiest bitch ever, so I'm sadly enough on an indefinity hiatus, but don't worry. My mood-swings give me enough ideas to continue the story, and even if it takes 10 years, i'm going to finish this!

A taste of the future

2007-10-12T00:01:00.001+02:00

As Ryu and Tayana walked back together towards the entrance of the Nexus, Ryu tried talking to his companion a bit more. He was particularly curious about how a society could survive in this place, and how the sylvan society was made up. He didn't always get a willing answer, but he did find out quite a bit. Tyrana was one of 5 Sylvan society groups still left on this continent, apparently called Gha's Im'dar by the Sylvan people. Being neither the biggest nor the smallest society, Tyrana had a population of about 35.000, from which the most part (27.000) lived up in the huge branches of the Nexus. Well...that's what she said, Ryu had a hard time believing it. Furthermore a whopping 10.000 the population were soldiers, either part-time or full-time, called elites. This particular Sylvan Society was one of mainly warrior caste. Tyrana's crest was a golden bird on top of a dark green tree, presumably the Sey'in Tree. Because of the categorization of Tyrana's layout (Magic, Mundane and public services) there were 4 rulers at all times. The 3 smallest, each corresponding to one group, had to answer to the last one being the Oracle, the political and religious leader of Tyrana.
Ryu felt a good bit of interest for the sylvan people but he still had a hard time focusing his thoughts. Whatever effects of the healing broth, he still felt quite woozy in the head and he had to constantly think about Kaz, dark feelings that seemed to infest and fester in his mind. It seemed to be written on his face as Tayana suddenly yelled out. "Ryu watch o--"
But it was too late, Ryu saw a flash of a person in front of him before being harshly bumped into and losing his balance. As he looked up from lying on his back a male voice sneered at him "Watch out where ya walk, fool." Ryu didn't feel like kindly taking the insult and prepared a retort as he scrambled up "Look here you, I'm sorry bu--" His sentence was cut short as he received a violent shove, pushing him out of balance and into Tayana. Luckily she was alert enough to keep him on his feet. "Look who we have here, the hu'man that was collected from his early grave. And the mysterious little punk girl under protection from the Oracle. It's fun time boys... " Menacingly, 3 elven youths stood besides each other, barring the way. "Look, we don't want any trouble, just-" Ryu began, but was cut short by laughter. The apparent leader stepped forward and raised his fist towards Ryu. "Just nothing, you filthy k'hran, we don't know how you got here in our lands, but we have no need for the likes of you. And we'll be making that very clear now..."
As Ryu tried to confront them, Tayana held him back by his arm. Drawing him close for a moment she whispered. "Stupid, don't underestimate them. Those are warrior's clan members. The one in the middle is Dho'kas, brother of the leader's best pupil. They're lots of trouble. Don't take them lightly..." But after looking into Ryu's eyes she nodded slightly and whispered "...too much."
Ryu suppressed as smile and nodded back, turning towards the three punks. He stepped up to Dho'kas , faces closed together. Ryu began "What's your problem dickhead? trying to mark your territory here? I've seen enough punk-ass weaklings like you where I come from, and I'm pretty sure they were worth more than you. So just piss off and let us pass." Dho'kas' face turned bright red at the insults and his scowl deepened as he felt his favourable position being threatened. Ryu sensed movement to his right as Dho'kas glanced at his cronies. Instinct made him trip backwards, a fall that was barely controlled, making Ryu hit his elbow harshly on the stone tiles. As he gazed up he saw a closed fist where his head was a moment before.
"Son of a bitch."
Suddenly he noticed Tayana running towards him. He rolled back and crouched low as Dhokas' buddies lunged forward. Quickly dodging the first adversary he punched the other one neatly in the stomach, making him double up. The following swift knee to the chin quickly fell him. Ryu spun around as the remaining punk scrambled up and started towards him. All the time Dhokas quietly hung back, observing the unveiling fight. Ryu quickly established his balance and dropped into a street fighter's stance waiting for the punk to come to him. Adrenaline was high in his blood, and despite last night's "recovery" he felt no ill effects.
"Come on you bastards!"
As soon as his enemy got closer, Ryu darted to the side and launched a low side kick at his knees, making him drop down with an agonized shout. A sharp pain suddenly hit Ryu on the back of his head. As he glanced he saw Dhokas standing behind him with what seemed to be a wooden practice blade in his hand and a very broad grin on his face. The blade rose and Ryu prepared for the pain as descended towards his skull. But instead of a numbing pain he saw a dark purple figure block Dhokas' blow and pull him back. Ryu tried to focus and saw that it was Tanaya who had interrupted his offender. Dhokas wrenched free and called for the first punk that Ryu felled, who had regained his posure and was limping towards Tanaya, knife in hand. Spinning easily, she back-handed the guy harshly in his face, making blood splutter everywhere from his mouth. Dhokas took a swipe at her head, but she ducked neatly and arched her back as she slammed her heel in Dhokas' face with a sublime forward bend. Dhokas staggered back and Tanaya ducked low, sweeping Dhokas of his feet, landing him on his back with a bash. Standing up in a fluid motion she brushed her hair out of her face as she quickly grinned and winked at Ryu. He nodded and grinned back. "Nice!" He also hoped that she wouldn't notice the blush he suddenly felt on his cheeks, he was unsure himself why he was blushing now.
The sudden sound of rushed footsteps made them both spin around in alarm. Ryu dropped back low in his stance, fearing for more goon buddies. A sudden Tayana seemed to relax, but Ryu noticed that her hands were crossed behind her back, which seemed an unlikely pose for her. Probably hiding something...
A heavy voice seemed to come with the footsteps. "What in the hells is going here?"

Life's wisdom!

2007-10-03T21:45:00.000+02:00

We're here with you this time to share a bit of internet wisdom which happened to come true lately. It's not 100% accurate to the situation, but the gist of it is present.
(Taken from www.bash.org, link at the bottom!)

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Life's wisdom!

--Warynn and Mor Rioghain

Irony

2007-09-25T18:59:00.000+02:00

I always wanted to talk about the irony of living your life for love.
Living your life for love is in itself a noble prospect. you know, all that is good, yadda yadda, but the risk and toll on one's soul is close to lethal. It's a fragile thing, and if there's one thing people are *not* able of handling, it are delicate things. Feelings: hope, loss, hate, and most importantly love. They all stand or fall at the slightest whim of those who command them. Life with so many people around you leaves us open to a dark mind game that is constantly being played. And every day, this game takes its toll upon those who play it. And play we must.

If people are pawns in this game of feelings, then it are those that live their lives for love, who make up both the elite of the elite and the first cannon fodder to be fed to the grinder. It is an universal fact that each and every one of them will fall, and most do fall from the highest top to the deepest depths.

Lives are lost in this game. Souls are forsaken, both to win and as prize upon failure. A game of the highest stakes...

Not playing would be a solution...heavenly bliss almost. But hey, one of my favourite songs is titled "heaven is not enough", and it rings truth like none other. Not playing means keeping the mind blank, or escaping or running away from society, but hey, that does leave you a poor pauper holed up in some shack in the middle of nowhere. Having to play means chances at happiness, it means having fun, it means LIVING. logically speaking and from experience, we can tell that to lose means to stop living. Sometimes but for a moment. Sometimes permanently... It's a sad truth.

My mind is blank, my soul has fled...
Perhaps i shall revive,
Just to die once again...
My mind is blank...

The calm before the storm...and the fall...

--Warynn alvein, once again a corpse among corpses

Chapter 1: Blood dawn part 3

2007-05-03T22:00:00.000+02:00

Charles' first visit to the ladies room lasted a mere 10 seconds. Immediately after he ran out he ran in again to throw up in one of the free toilets. Doctor Underwood came standing by the door.
“I know it's a horrifying sight, but you will have to take a closer look if you want to solve this.”
“Can't we just turn this one over to the fed's?”
“Well then there should be a similar case in another state. And if we would turn it over we'd need to give them the reports we made up till then. And to make those you will still have to come take a look. You see? You have no choice but to face it.”
“You're right” said Charles while standing up, “but I need to drink a bit first.”
he looked at the washbasins, and saw his cup of coffee replacement. He picked it up, and poor it down the sink, then washed it out and filled it with water, after he took a few pulls of the water he moved over to the last toilet again, ready to look at the masterpiece once again.
His eyes scanned the molested body of the poor young man sitting on the toilet in front of him. The eyes were the first thing that drew his attention. They still showed all the emotions of the man just before he died together with the emptiness of any corpse. In these eyes he saw a strange mixture of pain and joy. It was almost as if this man had enjoyed his death. He took a closer look now at the rest of the face, or at leas what was left of it. The man's lower jaw was obviously dislocated or broken or even both. His mouth was opened in an unusual form with red foam dripping from it. Several scars covered the cheeks. His nose was missing and through the hole you could almost look inside the head. On several places on his skull the hair and skin was ripped of, showing bare bone. The many cracks in the skull showed that he had been hit on the head with something heavy. On the back of the head there was a crack large enough to let his brain surface. It was almost as if his brain had wanted to evacuate his ruined body, but got caught on the way out.
Charles now looked at the neck, which was surprisingly undamaged, apart from two small cuts through the neck arteries. The shoulders on the other hand were in a much worse shape. There were 4 big holes in each one, probably made by the fingers or claws or whatever, and a bit lower in the chest there were 2 more holes, probably made by the thumbs. The upper ribs and the collarbone had obviously not survived this treatment, and shards of them were sticking out of the chest and that wounds. The right arm was still in a respectable state, with a few minor scratches, the left arm was a totally different case. The upper arm was broken and the flesh round the fracture was torn apart. The hand was totally deformed, probably all the bones inside were broken, turning the once perfect natural tool into a formless beanbag. There was also not much left of the belly, actually there was nothing left of it, all the flesh had been ripped away and the guts were hanging out of it. The only thing preventing his intestine from falling down the toilet was his hard, with slime covered dick, shutting of the downwards passage. It was sicking thinking about the fact that this man was not only gruesomely tormented but that he was also being raped at the same time. Trying to put this thought aside Charles looked at the legs, these were also broken and had scratches all over them but they seemed not violated in any unusual fashion. With all this in his mind there was only one thing that Charles needed to see, and that was the outside world. His common sense had been telling him to get out of here all the time now and he found it was about time he started listing to it.
Underwood understood this and guided Charles out.
“I think it is time you should look upon something a bit more positive, Charles” he said, “As strange as it may sound we actually have a witness, someone who survived this entire madness.”
Charles now looked at the doctor with great disbelieve.
“She was hiding in the toilets, more specific the one you threw up in. She was sitting there during the slaughter. When we found her she was in shock but I think she should be able to talk now.”
Charles murmured some things, then started following the doctor. Underwood led him through the airport in silence, allowing Charles to organise his thoughts. Underwood knew that this was exactly what Charles needed at this point. It was through their long relationship that they could predict what the other needed. They had both been in the corps for an eternity and they had worked on the most bizarre cases and managed to solve them successfully, even though the start seemed so desperate. But in their careers, neither has ever seen something as frightening and complex as this. Both of them were scared of what they had seen today, but neither wanted to admit it. Charles started going over the questions again he asked himself earlier, seeing if the new information could exclude certain possibilities, or whether it would just create more questions. Considering all the scratches they surely had used knifes, however, the initial killing could have still been done with guns. Apparently there was also a woman amongst the killers, Charles had just excluded the fact that it could be done by one man. After all, it was impossible to rape a person, who seemed to be quite strong, and in the same time totally torture and kill him. And what happened to the clothes? That was another thing that was missing, beside the blood. They were probably dumped in some container somewhere on the airport. He made a mental note, telling that he should instruct people to look for them. It was clear that no questions were solved yet, there were even more popping up left and right.
He noticed that they were almost there. And they were approaching more than just a witness, there was something much more important to be found there. He could smell it from miles away. It started as a vague, but familiar odour and as they came closer the smell increased. There was no doubt left in his mind now. They were so close now he could almost see it. And as they turned around the corner the magical sight came to him. First of all he saw the steam rising, the vapour that carried the wonderful perfume. Next he noticed the beautiful curves. He couldn't resist and he softly place his hands upon them. It felt surprisingly warm and very comfortable. He now closed his eyes and made his lips wet, ready for the next step.
Doctor Underwood looked at Charles in a strongly disapproving manner.
“He will never change.” he said, turning his attention to the young and confused girl.
After Charles had taken a swig of his recently acquired coffee he turned his attention to their witness. He estimated her to be around 17 years old. It was more than obvious that she had been crying, a lot. He grabbed a chair and sat down in front of the girl.
“Hello, my name is Charles. I know this is a hard time for you and that you're scared, but I have to ask you some questions. It's very important that you answer these questions as accurate as possible. We really want to catch these assholes who did this, and for that we will need your help. Do you understand?”
The girl nodded in silence.
“So, what can you tell me?”
“I don't ... I wouldn't know where to start.” she stumbled.
“Well maybe you could start by telling me your name.” Charles said in his nicest voice.
“I'm .. my name is Maya.”
“Well, Maya, where were when this happened?”
“In the ladies room.”
“Were you there from the beginning?”
She nodded briefly.
“So you didn't actually see anything, you just heard something, right?”
Another short nod was the reply.
“Just tell me what you heard then, start from the beginning.”
“Screams. Suddenly someone screamed and then others started screaming too. After a while they went quiet. And I heard some shots then. Then someone entered the ladies room. It sounded like he was fighting. Then they entered the next stall. And he started screaming, and I heard someone panting. And after a while they went quite. I thought they left, but I couldn't move. So I sat still until you guys found me.”
“Okay. Are you sure you didn't hear anything that could have been a shot while those people were screaming?”
“No I don't think so.”
“Well what will do for tonight. Would you mind coming by the bureau tomorrow? We'll go over everything again, maybe you remember something else. But you should first get some rest now.
Was your family at the airport too?”
“No.”
Charles was relieved.
“Well I'll get someone to take you home then, okay?”
Maya nodded one last time.
“Good,” said Charles while standing up, “we'll see each other tomorrow then.”

“So what do you think about her and her story?” asked Charles while he was walking back to the crime scene with Underwood.
“I'm not sure, but there seems to be something not right. For instance she said that she heard no more screams before they came into the toilet. The problem here is that the door is a swing door and when we got here, there were remainders piled up against the door. If it really happened in the order she said, there couldn't have been anything piled up against that door.”
“And what if they piled up the remainders afterwards?”
“I don't see why they'd do that, they didn't care about anything else.”
“And is there no other exit?”
“No.”
Charles bowed his head, he often did that when he was thinking. Silently they walked through the deserted hallways in what used to be one of the busiest airports in the world. Underwood sporadically looked at his college and friend. The extra wrinkles in his face betrayed his thoughts and feelings. This case was totally sucking Charles in. Even more so now he met Maya. It was clear that he wanted to protect her as he would protect a daughter. Whenever someone young was involved in a case he acted like that. It was compensating for the kids he never had. Charles never had much luck with women, they just didn't get along. He was just one of those men in this world that would always be alone. As they were waiting for the elevator Underwood broke the silence. He grabbed Charles by the shoulder and looked in his eyes.
“Hey Charles,” he said, “don't forget that this case is not your personal burden. You are part of a team and I too will always be there to help you if you need it.”
A softly stumbled thanks was all he got as a reply, but that was more than enough.

Chapter 1: Blood dawn part 2

2007-01-27T19:57:00.001+01:00

Vladimir was really annoyed now, everyone saw from the way he was walking. Now the normally very calm and considerate man was now storming through the hall, running over anyone who refused to make way for him. When he entered his office he threw his jacket on the couch and then sat down in his chair. After resting a while he stood up again and walked to his cupboard. Carefully he removed some of his pistols from their holsters and placed them on the cupboard. While he was doing this a door opened behind his back.
“Thank you for keeping my tea warm, Benjamin.” he said without looking behind him.
“I didn't. I just made some new tea when you came back.”
“Whatever....”
Vladimir sat down again and accepted the cup offered by his youngest pupil. He watched the energetic young man walking back out of the room. After a few nips Benjamin came back with in his hand a large folder.
“Is that the 8 o'clock briefing?” Vladimir asked, pointing at the folder from behind his cup.
“Well it was. Are you still interested, my lord?”
For a second Benjamin feared that his teacher was going to strike him with lightning bolts coming from his eyes. His masters gaze was already piercing through his forehead, trying to soften up his brain for the horrible things to come. He was now slowly shrivelling away in his chair, trying his best to get a grip of something, anything. Suddenly his hand shook brusquely and he poured his tea in his lap. Screaming from pain, caused by the burning liquid, he jumped up from his chair.
“You gotta be more careful, I'd hate it when something would happen to you.” Vladimir said in his calm cool voice. Benjamin was nervously dipping up the tea with his handkerchief. Vladimir now reached for the folder. He picked it up and quietly looked through it.
“Everything is in here?” he asked without looking up.
“Ye... yes, my lord.” Benjamin stumbled.
“Good. Then you may now be dismissed. It's late for the both of us, I'll go through it myself. Thank you for your hard work preparing it.”
“Thank you, my lord.” said Benjamin surprised, making a tiny bow and leaving the room.
A very nice boy, Vladimir thought, but he still has a lot to learn.
He now started reading his report more thoroughly.

I) political and military situations

Asia
India is believed to be fully mobilised by now. It's troops have already reoccupied the Kashmir region and are standing by for an assault on Pakistan. Pakistan is only 40% mobilised but is threatening to use it's nuclear arsenal if India proceeds. Chinese troops in the border region with India have also been put on a higher state of alert. India has not yet officially responded to this potential new threat.
China has already taken control of large parts of Mongolia and is amassing troops for an invasion of Siberia. Russia has already started moving extra troops to the region but the fights with the separatist regions in the west is demanding a great part of their military forces. We do not believe that the Russian army will be capable of fending of a Chinese assault. The Japanese fleet is mainly in the harbours for maintenance. The active ships are operating in the Chinese sea, playing tag and hide and seek with the Chinese fleet.
In the middle east Israel, Jordan, Syria, Lebanon and Egypt are fully mobilised, yet no country has taken an initiative. Local diplomats are meeting in Ankara in an attempt to find a diplomatic solution.
Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan are still in a state of civil war after the withdrawal of the American and UN forces from the region.
Russia is still facing separatist movements in the Caucasus region and it looks like these rebel groups are slowly taking control of the region. Russian top army leaders have agreed on the use of chemical and biological weapons against the rebels and the local population who are supporting them.

Europe
The Balkan has now entered a full scale war. Today Romania, Bulgaria and Bosnia have officially declared war on Yugoslavia, Croatia and Slovenia, after Yugoslavia invaded Montenegro. Croatia and Slovenia supported this assault and stated that it was time again that the Balkan got united under one banner. Russia has already given it's full support to Yugoslavia on this matter and promised men and material. Considering their current status it seems very unlikely that they will be capable of actually aiding Yugoslavia. Since they also lost control of their harbours in the black sea and because Ukraine has already confirmed that they will not allow Russian transports through their nation it is highly unlikely that they would be able to move their forces to the needed regions anyway.
Germany and France are still in an impasse after 5 days. The heavy artillery siege of Strasbourg by Germany seems to have no impact other than the destruction of the city. France still controls the sky at night and uses this power to disrupt the German reinforcements. Other countries in the region have not yet taken an official position in this war............ Flemish commandos .................
Italy .............. Vatican gaining ...............

Africa
Central Africa in disarray ...............

II)economics and industry
................higher costs ................... loss of oil fields .......................

Vladimir had now switched to superficially looking over the documents. They didn't contain much news anyways. Or unexpected news that was. All was going according to plan, except for the costs that were about 3 times higher than expected. Luckily he foresaw this and he had freed up 10 times more money for his plan than his generals calculated. The American government could learn something from this, he grinned. He was about to call it a day when an unusual article drew his attention.
The Vatican has sent 2 commandos of the section 13 to the United states on a special assignment. Sources indicate ....
Vladimir stood up, and stormed to the control room.
“Who got this intell?!?” he yelled, showing the paper to his intelligence coordination officer.
“I will look it up sir,” the officer said, shaking in fear, “one minute please sir.”
“You got 5 seconds!!!” Vladimir shouted at the man, who in response almost completely vanished under his desk.
4 seconds later he found the intelligence his master was asking for.
“The report was submitted by Laika, our number one intelligence source in the Vatican. In his 15 years of service he has never once made a single error in any report. I think we can rely upon his information. The departure was confirmed by 2 sources on the airport...”
“Okay, good enough,” Vladimir interrupted him, “contact Davy Jones. Order him to have these 2 commandos followed and tell him that if he loses them, there will be promotions in our American division. Also get my jet ready by tomorrow noon to fly to America. Besides my normal guards Benjamin will be joining me on this flight, make sure he is fully informed and ready by tomorrow noon. You got all that?”
“Sir, yes Sir!” shouted his intelligence officer.
“Alan?!?” shouted Vladimir now.
“yes, my liege?” was the answer from his supreme commander.
“Mobilise the black guard immediately. I want ...”
“No can do sir,” Alan interrupted him, “ the majority of the guard is currently undergoing maintenance and ...”
That was as far as Alan got. Before he could say anything else a bullet punctured his skull and threw half his brains on the person who was so unlucky to be standing right behind him.
“How many times have I already told you that you should A, listen to what I'm saying, and B, think logically?!? I told you that we could need the black guard at stand by! We're at war! How could you even think of calling in our troops to have them dismantled to see whether they are broken or not! If you disassemble them they'll be broken for sure! Never heard of small routine check-ups!?!”
“Uhm sir? Sorry to interrupt you, but he's already dead.”
“I know that you idiot, and if you don't shut your face you'll soon be too.”
Vladimir went quiet for a minute and took a few deep breaths.
“Okay, Marshal Edwards, are you here?”
“Yes, my lord.”
“Congratulations on your promotion. By when can you have the black guard mobilised?”
“I think we could get it up to 50% of it's full strength in 1 week and get the rest up and running the week after.”
Vladimir glared at his new supreme commander.
“But if we do some overwork, we will surely manage to get up to 60% of our strength in 5 days and get up to 90% in 10 days.” Edwards corrected himself.
“So everyone got his orders now. Are there any last questions?” Vladimir asked. He looked around but nobody moved or spoke. “Okay then,” he proceeded, “get to it. No more slacking, I don't want any more surprises tomorrow. Goodnight all.”
Vladimir turned around and walked through the door, slamming it shut with such force that it would have surely broken, were it not that it was armoured with high quality titanium.

Come what may...

2007-01-17T01:48:00.001+01:00

Ryu and Tayana walked back through the hall in utter silence. Ryu was too down to really feel like talking and somehow he didn't think his guide would want to talk anyway. His first impression of her made him think she didn't really want to show him around, and he couldn't shake the thought that she also regretted hauling him from his sandy grave in the desert. Well, what should have been his grave. So he walked, keeping up with the grumpy sylvan female, his eyes still looking around the unnaturally smooth wooden hallway. As he stepped in the waiting "elevator" the sylvan girl - Ryu *thought* it was just a girl, not a fullgrown woman - started talking.
"Well since I bloody well seem to be stuck with you, I'll just show you around and get this kor'vach over with."
Ryu only arched his eyebrow and didn't even mention the exotic, and probably foul, word that was used. She seemed to slightly nod before continuing.
"Maybe you already know this tiny bit much, but the Nexus is the very center of Tyrana. It is sculped in a nearly thousand year old Holy Sey'in Tree and is doing service as the center of the local community. Around it is built our city, a large part of it like you hu'mans on the earth, but another is crafted higher up in the branches that sprout from this tree and the bigger ones next to it. That part is mostly homes and living quarters, but also lookout posts and light workshops. Downstairs is the majority of the productivity: the hospital, the various warrior and mage clans' training grounds, the library, the smithies, the main community hall and bar, the warehouses, the forest hot springs, several heavy workshops and finally the Sa'araath pens. Deeper in the forest is also a small altar and the graveyard. "
By the time she finished explaining about the main walkways inside the nexus (which were ordered according to the 4 cardinal directions) they reached the ground-level and walked towards a set of ornated open doors. "As any child here knows, Tyrana's buildings, not including the Nexus, are divided in 3 groups all situated around the Nexus: Xih, the magical group, on the west, consists of the mage clans' training grounds, the library and the hot springs. Moh'r is the mundane group, located on the east, and it contains the warrior clans' training grounds, the smithies and the workshops. All the rest is located to the north and south, at equal distance from the 2 main groups. North is the main hall and bar, and the warehouses. The pens and the hospital are located to the south."
Suddenly she turned around and pointed towards another set of doors. "In case you didn't notice, you came from there, south." Then she turned on her toes and strode of through the opens doors, leaving Ryu to looks around in astonishment before catching up quickly.
They walked through even more corridors before reaching a serene courtyard with a magically eerie but beautiful fountain in the middle. The area was rife with blue and pruple orchids and large tulip-like flowers, and the style and colour of the surrounding woodwork has changed from a more earthen green and brown to a more mystical deep blue and shining dark purple. It all added to the magical feeling this area breathed. Following a silver-grey stone walkway they soon came upon a large flat building in the distance with walls made of purple wood and green creeper vines. The door seemed to be made almost entirely of darker green vines and odd-shaped leaves. There was even a tiny dust layer on the top of the doorway.
"That's the library, where the mages keep their knowlegde and where Tyrana's history is being kept. It's a nice enough place...if you like the silence and the dust around you." Ryu saw several persons dressed in robes or baggy shirts and pants go in and out the dust-covered building. Some were carrying books, others had their heads down in reading, and one was hurrying his way between them, but still Ryu couldn't seem to shake the feeling of calm and serenity from those people. Shaking his head softly and turning to Tayana he asked "Hmm, can't we go take a look over there? It seems interesting enough really..." As soon as the question left Ryu's mouth, Tayana whirled around furiously to face Ryu with a sneer on her face. "Look here hu'man. I just want to get this bloody over with, so you can just go look by your worthless self after i'm done leading you around like a puppy, y'understand me?" Arching a frowned eyebrow Ryu looked her squarely in the face and barely suppressed the need to raise his voice and his right middle finger at her. Gritting his teeth, he still let fly a snide comment "Oh right, miss bitchy, I'm sure you still have a lot of other toddlers to terrorize for a living after you're done with me." Ryu thought she might pop a vein by the way her face contorted at the pun. Well it wasn't a very succesful, nor powerful taunt - normally - but it surely seemed to have effect this time. If looks could kill he'd been have annihilated into utter destruction a hundred times over now. Instead of the suspected outburst, Tayana furiously turned around again and strode onward, her fists tightly balled and arms crossed, probably for keeping herself from hitting him, Ryu thought. He sighed softly and started follwing her again, careful to leave some space this time, you might never know... After having walked for a while - Ryu suspected in a circle, because some of the bushes started to look familiar - they took a different styled road and came upon what happened to be an enclosure made of green and purplish bamboo. With still a lot of sting in her voice, Tayana continued her explanations.
"These, *human*, are the hot springs. Good place for relaxation and soaking out the stress. I might consider going here later, so don't be there when I am."
Ryu sniggered softly. "What, shared spaces for both sexes? Afraid I might see you naked?". Tanaya's face quickly coloured a bright red, before looking away. "E-exactly, so *don't*". Giving a short shrug, Ryu nonetheless saw a flash of a bathing elf girl in his mind before shaking his head vigorously to get the thought out. "Yeah, lets just...Next!"
They both walked on past the enclosure, following a path lined with the same kind of lamps that he has seen in the Nexus' hallways. He also started noticing an increase in glow in the air, increasing the feel of mystery in the surroundings. Ryu couldn't contain his curiousity and tried to ask some questions, with the hope that his guide wasn't all to angry or agressive anymore.
"Say, this...ehm, glow... What is it actually? It feels almost tingly to the skin. Is this magic or so?" Looking over her shoulder Tanaya nodded curtly. "Well yes, the mages' training and studying grounds emant a lot of energies due to the activities there. If you ask me, it just gives me the creeps..."
"I agree..." Ryu grabbed at the air, trying to see if he could scoop up something, but logically to no avail. Tanaya threw her head back and gave a barking laugh. "That's the first time we agree, human. Lets hope it happens more."
As the path grew broader and darker, Ryu and Tanaya started walking closer beside, uncomfortable with the proximity to eachother, but more so with the surroundings, although both unwilling to admit it. When not talking they avoided looking at eachother, scanning the trees and plants around, and Ryu even started to whistle a silly tune to lighten the mood.
Suddenly Tanaya pointed ahead at what appeared to be a small arena-like building, decorated with lots of symbols and multi-coloured lamps. The doors around the building seemed to be sturdily constructed and were lined with an elegant flowing script. Ryu could here all kinds of noise coming from the inside, from chanting and speach, to dull explosions and even the guttural growl of some probably weird creature. He decided to wisely ignore them and started to inspect some of the script.
"It's sylvan writing, mostly wordings of wards and chants of power, all symbolic in this case really." As Ryu reached out to open the nearest door Tanaya called out to stop him. "That's the entrance to the holding pens, you idiot. Follow me".
"Hey, how was I supposed to know?" Walking around the building they entered a door on the north - Ryu thought is was north - and came upon a large room with tapestries on the walls, showing all kinds of banners and symbols, each one next to a door. "These are the mage clans symbols. They represent one clan each whose main quarters can be reached by going through the doors. Except the center one, the one with the purple and green tree symbol next to it. That's the main hall. But we're going back for now. Your "appointment" with the mages is not for today. The Oracle wouldn't like it, they're famous for studying their subjects, and I guess you are quite the interesting one for them. Humans here are rare."
Ryu felt a knot form in his stomache and tried to supress it by turning away "Right, thanks I guess, lets go then..."

Chapter 1: Blood dawn part 1

2006-12-27T19:39:00.000+01:00

Charles Turner hated waking up so early. What could be so important that it can't wait a few more hours, so that he had time to eat something, drink some coffee and basically wake up. Nipping his ready to go coffee he navigated through the mild early morning traffic. With a disgusted face he looked at the black-brownish solution which he bought along the way. He wondered how people could daily drink this shit. Personally he still preferred a nicely home made cup of coffee. He wouldn't even call this coffee. So whatever they got for me there, it can't be much worse than this, he joked to himself. Taking another small nip from his coffee replacement he turned onto the airport parking lot. The many blue and red lights showed him exactly where he had to be. He pulled up as near to the door as possible and then ran to the terminal door, staying out in the cold weather and the rain as short as possible.
“Lieutenant Turner?”
“Yes”, said Charles, shaking out his jacket.
“Please come this way, sir.” said the young police man. Charles slowly trudged after the energetic cop. As he noticed this quickly, the young man paused from time to time to let Charles catch up. Softly talking to himself and without paying attention to his younger colleague he strode on sticking to his own slow tempo. Before he knew he was standing in front of an elevator, for a moment he tried to remember what route they took, but he couldn't remember. Only then he noticed he was still holding his coffee. After taking 2 nips the lift arrived. Charles soon noticed that the young man was nervous.
“So what have we got here?” asked Charles, trying to relieve the stress a bit.
“A massacre” was the short answer.
Charles sighed after some more silence. “I hate bloodbaths” he said shaking his head.
“It's not a bloodbath, Sir.”
For the first time that day Charles lifted his head. With a surprised look he stared at the young cop. Before he could ask what he meant with “it's not a bloodbath” the elevator stopped and the doors opened, revealing the most horrible and mysterious sight that Charles had seen his entire life.
As far as he could see there were human body parts, organs and bones spread out. They were all over the huge hallway he was gazing into. From his feet to the outer walls he saw nothing but the remains of what once were, god only knows how many people. Several minutes he stood there, totally frozen, astound by this surreal sight. Automatically he reached for his cigarettes, but this time it took him forever to put it in his mouth and light it. When he almost succeeded he heard a loud voice calling for him.
“Charles, what are you doing?!? Smoking in a public building AND on a crime scene? Of all the people in the world, you should know that this can not be tolerated.”
He knew there was only one person in the world who would talk to him in such a manner. While he put away his cigarette, his eyes scouted the room, looking for doctor Underwood. After he found the doctor he started making his way through the piles human remainders. Before he said something Charles took a last look at the path he just walked, shivering with fear and absolute repulsion.
“So, doctor, could you please tell what the hell happened here?”
“Well, actually it is your job to figure it out”, was the reply, “ but if you want i can give a hypothesis on the the events that likely took place here.”
“I'm listening.”
“Around 2 am someone or something entered the airport. Apparently through a normal route, since we have not found any signs of a forced entry. This would also mean that who- or whatever it was that did this, was looking like a human, else there would have been a fight and corpses nearer to the door. He then came to this terminal, where the people for the flight had to check in, he then started a fight in which he killed all the people present and shattered their body parts. After he feasted on some of the body parts, he probably just left.”
“And do you have any idea what could have done this?”
“Why do you say what? Do you already exclude the possibility of someone doing an act like this? You assume that it should have been some wild beast? I personally think that it must have been a human or at least some intelligent life form, I have looked at some of the remainders more closely and they seem to be removed with such a precision that it would be impossible, to complex for a beast to do this.”
“What about the claw marks then? I've seen scratches on the wall, they looked as if they came from a large strong feline.”
“Impossible! There is no animal strong enough to carve in concrete. Besides if an animal did kill them, he would have eaten a lot more of the victims, mainly their meat, which still seems to be abundantly present.”
“That means that it was some evil psycho, leaving marks like an animal to confuse people. Or maybe it's more something like a calling card. If that is right it might not be our last gruesome crime scene we're looking at.”
“I'd think more of a gang than one maniac. It could have been violent teenagers, thinking they were vampires or something. They had a special name, but I can't seem to remember it.”
“You mean gothics? And why did you say vampires? Couldn't it have been some occult ritual?”
“Yes, I meant gothics. Well take another good look at the hall. Didn't you notice anything strange? Like the total absence of blood?”
Now Charles knew what had been bugging him since the first moment, there was not a single drop of blood in the entire hall, yet hundreds of people were violently slaughtered there. This seemed a bit to complicated for a few raging younglings, to him. And how did they manage to kill all those people? With guns? Or knifes? Or swords? That was something the autopsy will have to reveal. So after they would have killed everyone, how did they manage to get rid of all the blood? Or maybe they used chemicals to make the blood clot and then cut them into pieces? His accumulating questions were interrupted by doctor Underwood.
“Now that I think of it, your insinuation on occult rituals might be correct, considering our masterpiece.”
“What masterpiece?”
“Come with me, I'll show you.”

Oh noes, it's spreading!

2006-12-25T23:36:00.000+01:00

Right, well then, I am totally aware of the fact that i haven't updated in a while (read: a long time) and yes i kinda feel sorry... Ok f*ck that, I don't, not 100% tho. School's been a royal busy bitch, with things like having to program a full animated flash media player in under one week (which is also the first flash thingy i EVER created), and other stuff. Yes I believe I died somewhere along the way doing that. Then there's the better part of life. I actually have a girlfriend now. And yesh she's the kind of girl in every aspect that i want to spend my life with. No more tryouts, no more flashlight relationships, no more "oops sorry you're not my type" dates, because i did hit the proverbal jackpot this time. Except the fact that she doesn't game but, hehh, can't have everything eh ;) (Sorry baby, don't kill me now ^^;; ). Mheh, i'll try and convert her anyway :).

Anyway news about the blog. Seeing as the amount of updates has been abysmal lately (not counting the counter-bar in the lower right corner), and me always wanting to do a good joined project i decided to add a posting member to this blog: Mor Rioghain. He's one of my best friends from my old school, and without him, i probably wouldn't have been here anymore. Agreed, he's a bit of a weird guy (then again, so am i), but if you ever have a shortage of sarcasm, sadism, politics, confusion or C&C: he's the guy to ask. Just like me he has a total intolerance for all that is foolish, idiotic and noobish. Just like me he enjoys a good gaming session, and some melodic metal music to go with it, and just like me he's a bit of a writer. I have no idea what he'll be posting here, so far as i'm concerned he can post whatever he wants here, as long as it doesn't cross the insanity level i'm willing to enforce here. He prolly post his story here too, but i'll leave that to him to explain/tell about further. It's a different style of story then mine, but in my humble opinion it's very good nonetheless. He'll prolly post a bit of comment under my block of text here, so explanations there.

So...that's that. I'm going to write a bit more now, upcoming is a hint of combat, with a whole lot of environment establishing. Peace out y'all

--W

Thanks for that introduction Warynn. Most of what he said about me is true, wel actualy everything. I'll mostly be using this place to post my story (or should I say stories? (i'm currently working on 2 at once (well working is maybe a bit exaggerated *cough*))). As already pointed out, my stories are a bit a different style. They take place in the modern world with deities and other paranormal stuff, pretty cool if I say so myself. Anyways I currently can't think of anymore to say here and now, so we'll just leave that for later posts.
I hope you'll all enjoy reading my stories and whatever junk I might throw on here.

--Mor Rioghain

The Oracle

2006-10-31T21:57:00.000+01:00

Ryu followed the doctor as he started walking towards the huge pillar in the hall's middle.
"The Nexus is, as it's name suggests, the center of Tyrana's activity. Think of it like a city hall, but that is too much like what humans call it, therefore the rather exotic name" the doctor explained. "This 'construction' here is actually used to go to higher levels."
Ryu was suprised at the notion "Like an elevator?"
"An elevator?" The doctor's puzzled question came.
"Right...no - eh...no modern...yeah..." The aspect made Ryu sigh deeply.
From the ground up there were openings in the pillar at regular intervals, where people could exit and enter the shafts. All the 4 shafts of the pillar had a bright round oval covering the whole opening, which, to Ryu's unease and the doctor's smugness, floated from floor to floor with merely a thought from one of the guiding occupants. The sides never scraped and the ovals made barely a sound, adding to Ryu's unease at the potential failure of the seemingly magical contraption. All the while about the flight up there were seemingly small natural openings in the pillar's wooden wall, allowing for a rather spectacular view of the hall's vastness. It wasn't long before the magical "elevator" deposited them to a narrow walkway about 50 meters above ground floor. Ryu let out a shallow grunt as he exited the elevator and followed the doctor on the narrow and unprotected walkway. He tried not to look down as the knot in his stomache grew bigger. The doctor noticed his unease and put his hand on Ryu's shoulder as they arrived in the (luckily) normal walkway.
"You ok there?"
Ryu made a snorting sound and nodded ahead for the doctor to continue.
"Very well then."
As they progressed Ryu felt the eyes of other passersby fall on him. Soft murmurs came from all around him, clumps of people whispering softly as they looked at him accusingly. Also, every 10 or so meters 2 guards were posted on the side, wearing what seemed to be beautifully crafted and gilded light metal armour plates covering their chests, arms and legs, eyeing Ryu like a predator would a lost little puppy in it's lair. Or a cutpurse caught red-handed on a market, Ryu thought. After a short walk the doctor halted in front of another set of big ornate wooden doors, and turned towards Ryu with a warning expression on his face.
"Before I send you in, a few pointers. You give your name to the guard, your full name, and you shall be announced to the Oracle. She is our spiritual and mundane leader, our judge and our mother. She's very old and wise, so any advice or warning she gives you, you will be wise to heed. Don't try to tell anything different from the truth, because she will see." Coughing softly he added "I know from...previous experience. She's warm and friendly until angered or lied to."
Ryu nodded and uttered a shallow thanks, before swallowing and looking at the tall, heavily armed guard. The doctor stepped by his side and adressed the guard "This one has been summoned for an audience with the Oracle."
The guard looked down at Ryu (actually himself not a small person at all) and arched a puzzled eyebrow before nodding gruffly. "State your name!"
Ryu swallowed a lump down and spoke clearly "My name is Ryu Alvein."
The guard pushed the door open, bashing the shaft of his spear on the wooden floor and bellowed loudly "RYU ALVEIN, YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED BEFORE THE ORACLE. BE HUMBLE, BE TRUTHFUL, FOR HERE YOUR SOUL LAYS BARE."
Ryu tried not to flinch away from the guard as he stepped inside in the room, the doors banging shut loudly behind him. There was little light in the room with the doors closed and Ryu's eyes had to adapt to the view. In the middle of the room a faint, but broad, beam of light shone down in a petal-like pattern, to show a symbol on the floor showing a golden bird with it's rich plumeage wide open. A voice came from farther in.
"Ryu Alvein, welcome. Don't stand there all tensed up, come forward."
Ryu hesitated briefly before moving forward to the middle of the room, stepping in to the light, trying mentally to lose his muscles and calm his nerves.
As his eyes got used to the low light he saw a woman standing at the other side of the symbol, wearing a big green and blue coloured robe with rich golden embroidery. She had the poise and aura of a queen, stepping lightly over to Ryu to stand in front of him with her hands crossed in her sleeves in front of her. Ryu looked at her face, and tried as he could, but couldn't place an age on her. She seemed...ageless.
"So you're the one who was brought here." Her voice sounded like one might think of a stern but caring mother, or a particular forgiving judge for that matter. Ryu straightened himself at her tone and tried not to sound too intimidated.
"Eh, yes ma'am"
The lady smiled lightly as she eyed Ryu up and down. "Well, polite aren't, we. That's good. Tell me, Ryu, how did you come to get here."
Ryu tried not to look down too much, refusing to let his uneasiness show. "I...I don't know ma'am. I woke up in the infirmary, all beaten and bandaged."
"So you were wounded then. How did that happen, do you remember?"
Ryu shook his head slightly, really not wanting to think about it, but anwsered anyway. "I, we, me and my friend Kazimir...we got into a traffic accident. There was this big vehicle slipping and... Why I am still alive, and how, I don't know, but..." Ryu's voice cropped up at the thought of his best friend's body broken and bleeding heavily on the pavement, and tried to supress the sudden feeling of desperation welling up in his mind. He managed a faint "I'm sorry..." before he cast his eyes down and balled his fists, trying his very best not to cry like a little child.
The look on the Oracle's face changed to one of sad sympathy as she heard Ryu's terribly inadequate explanation and softly placed a warm hand on Ryu's arm.
"It's okay...let us see what happened, okay?"
Before Ryu could pull back she had placed her hand on his forehead and thoughts came streaming forward like an onstoppable torrent.

The slow, tired morning on the train...
...the feelings of frustration at the canceled classes...
...the sight of his friend's laughing face and the sympathy at Ryu's feelings...
...the cozy and welcome walk through his city...
...the sound and sight of the truck slipping...
...and the last scream of fear as first his friend's, and then his own body was crushed by the uncontrollable weight of the tilting truck.

...blackness...

Ryu gasped loudly as he staggered backwards, his hands covering his face and forehead, tears streaming from his eyes. The oracle just stood there with her eyes slightly widened, her hand still held out at Ryu's forehead.
"So you really come from a different...world."
Ryu tried to wipe the stream of tears from his face as he regained his balance, feelings of deepest grief, loss and confusion at what just happened roiling freely in his mind. He tried not to shy back as the Oracle moved forward again to look up to his face. "In this memory...you were not alone, and the sadness and fear I felt emanting from you... Who was this person?"
Ryu fought back the waves of sadness as remembered his friend's demise "Kaz...Kazimir. My best friend. Hehh, well... My only friend, like a brother to me..." Uttering something like a spluttering grunt he cast his eyes down, not wanting to be seen in such a vulnerable state.
"I see...Yes, the loss of a brother is hard. If it's any comfort to you, he shall be remembered."
Ryu looked up indignantly, seaking hotly but with a hint of gratitude showing in his voice "How could you say that!...you don't know him...or me."
For a moment, a gentle smiled showed on her face "It's our way." Then she became serious again "Now, anyway, on to more current matters. Seeing as you seemingly have no idea how you came here there is the problem that you probably also don't know the way to go back."
Ryu nodded and mutteringly added "...and since the last known means of transportation did include me getting brutally killed, I think I shall pass on the more obvious 'solutions'..."
The oracle continued without any visible sign of noticing the sarcasm. "So, you'll have to stay here...Which, in itself, is also a problem." She sighed softly and started walking a slow circle around Ryu "As you may or may not have already noticed by the looks everybody you crossed gave you, our people here don't really like...humans. The reason to this, is quite simple and understandable. We, Us, The Sylvan people, we're at war with humans. The reasons for that is, to put it bluntly, that the humans have supressed and hunted us, and think we are a threat to their...ways." She pauzed in her circle to wait for a reaction, any reaction, from her subject.
Ryu felt the cliché coming from miles away and had to hold back not to slap his hand to his forehead. He couldn't resist muttering some comment though. "Just effing great. Even here, in this...world. Leave it up to humanity to screw it all up. So damn typical."
He felt disgusted by the apparant state of things and, seeing the recent emotional overflow, had trouble containing that particular emotion, too.
Eyeing him intently, the Oracle finished her circle of Ryu to stand close in front of him. "You're saying you don't approve of your race's course of action?"
Ryu felt a pang of anger at the question "What?? Of course not! Hell, i'm not one of those 'world-peace' protestants, but I am one of those that generally dislike politicians for their self-righteous bickering and power-hungry war-mongering. Shit, it's like a human thing, I guess." The look he saw in the Oracle's eyes told him she didn't understand a word of what he just said so he decided to reword that. "Okay...let me put it like this: No, I don't like them trying to squeeze power out of everything and abuse others for their own good. It makes me sick."
Resuming a second appraisal round around Ryu, the Oracle nodded to herself and muttered a curt "good." Ryu thought that with the wrong anwser he wouldn't be standing here any longer, but instead probably being bodily dragged to whatever dungeons this place harbours. He felt the heat in his blood die down again and depression settle in its place. He tried not to let his shoulders slump, but he felt weighed down by worry after worry. Suddenly the Oracle spoke up.
"Very well then. It's decided. You shall be a guest in our community for as long as you desire. You will obey by our laws and shall be punished by our means if you don't. As a guest you shall be given a home, and the means to sustain yourself. Should you be able to find a suitable occupation here..." she arched an eyebrow at that "...then you shall be compensated for accordingly." After a short moment of eyeing him over again she added "I hope you agree to this."
Ryu found himself to be quite dombfounded by her words, and the cold state-of-matters way she brought them. He was able to stammer out a well-meant, but shallow sounding thank you and added a straight-backed bow for good measure. Nodding at him in approval the Oracle tured to adress the door.
"You may now enter!"
Ryu turned to peer at the door as it opened slowly to admit a short sylvan female dressed in a dark purple leather jacket and matching pattern brown-green breeches who seemed to be snug to against her legs and waist. Very snug indeed, Ryu thought as his gaze fell on her.
"This is Tayana Va'Sa'Gren. She and her party rescued you from the desert and brought you here. You should be very thankful to her indeed."
"Y'know I wouldn't have if it turned out to be just a stange, boring, weak willed hu'man like that example."
The other woman's (girl's?) voice sounded young, but her eyes seemed full of fire as she sneered at Ryu, trying to bait him into anwsering. He did feel like snapping "Then don't!" at her, but somehow he held back, trying to keep his wits to him, however shaked he felt.
She hmphed and muttered something under her breath - somehow Ryu didn't think he was being complimented for his restrain - before being forcefully cut off by the Oracle.
"That's *enough* Tiya. Since you did bring him here, you shall show him around our settlement, and make sure no harm *whatsoever* befalls him, or you shall anwser to me. Now take him and go." Taking a step towards the back of the room she turned around one last time to Ryu "Oh, and do be careful. My words my reign absolute for some, for others it is but a nuisance. My people will help you, but do not get into trouble of your own accord."
Ryu watched as she walked back to her throne - he thought it was a throne - and felt a harsh nudge against his arm. "Well then lets go then, and keep up, I don't want to have to look all over the place if you get yourself lost."
Holding back a particulary heavy sigh Ryu followed his new found and ill tempered 'companion' as she stepped back through the huge ornated double doors, closing with a slam behind him.

Me and updating O.o;

2006-10-17T22:24:00.000+02:00

OKay...so, been a while, but the knowledge that some people actually check this thing daily (unbelievable ain't it... can't believe i myself, still ;) has coerced me into quickly writing this small thingy. I - AM - NOT - DEAD. Right okay, now that that's out of the way, NEITHER IS THE STORYLINE.
Actually since the knowledge written here above i've been trying to work on my story on a pseudo-daily basis. But, hell you know how it goes, you come home and you're absolutely exhausted, and coupling that to school and the fact that i've taken up martial arts again (Ninjitsi to be precise) i haven't really had the chance. And also i've seem to have taken up a nasty case of writer's block for this particular part. But even though i say it myself, the part's big... i think biggest so far. Should be finished in a few days i guess, if i don't feel the need to constantly keep adding to it without being able to actually end this part midway. It's gonna feel kinda cut short anyway with the "ending" i have in mind. Ah anyway...
Me going to sleep now, i need it...didn't sleep to well last night. always getting up so fscking early...ohwell

Peaceful winds to your sword!

--Wim

WOOTAGE BABY!!

2006-09-10T22:44:00.000+02:00

I WENT PARTYING IN A LIMO!!
XD =D XD =D XD =D XD =D XD =D XD =D XD =D
I'll post some pictures as soon as i get them =P. Hopefully tomorrow =D.

And yes, I'm still writing, but life's busy again...partying...pimpin' (not really >>; ) ...crazy shiz...

Life's good overall... A miracle :)

//EDIT//

pictures!!! I'll comment each and every one.

That's me and my pal Steven at my other friend's house, just before "our ride" arrived ^^.

Me, again (i wanted to look tough, but it's actually more like a suprised look), and my friend Alexander. It's his house we were guests at, and it was our idea to rent the limousine. Originally we dubbed the idea "The Mob Night", because of all the guys in suits, and the sigars Alex had bought for me and him (each one). The idea got dilluted tho, cus actually, only me and him were in true suits, and only we 2 had sigars. I still have mine, because I don't actually smoke, but next time I will smoke mine (and so will everyone else, for a bit =P).

Oh lookie here. The whole congregation. The picture's a bit blurred, because Alex's dad had moved a bit while taking it. Mheh, it's the only full group photo i have so it'll have to do...
From left to right: Alexander, Me ^^, Sofie, Carlos, Steven, Jamie and Kelly.

The riiiide! Yeah baby look at that ^^. Chrysler. Not top of the top, but amaaaazing anyway. I don't have very much to tell about this one, I'm not the car expert, that's Alex... (cmon and comment some you idiot!! :)

Inside shot, just to make you guys/girls drool ^^. I'm actually behind the camera on this one, mheh no loss there eh ;). Interiour had: full surround sound installation, starlight all over, discolights in the back shining all over the interior, pretty big bar (you see a bit of it at the side). We popped 3 bottles of champagne in total while on the road, 2 going, and 1 coming (yes, even still then). I was pretty drunk indeed... ah wth =P

So these were a few pictures of the night. There's more, but that would be a bit overkill, and they show nothing really new. The website of the place we went partying at (and the place through which we rented the limousine) is www.feestpaleis.be There's still some pics in the pictures section of us (date: 9-9). Dunno what else to say, so post your comments!

--Warynn

Status Report

2006-07-22T13:24:00.000+02:00

Hey all, it's me here. I'm posting to let you all know that I'm indeed, contrary to popular belief, still alive. It's just that the summer holidays are unbelievably busy for me. I knew it was going to get a bit...ehm crowded in my schedule, but this is ...whow. There hasn't been a single day that i have had 100% for myself. It's fun in some view, of course, but it's tiring. I haven't even been able to enact some of my plans (like updating this thing O.o;;;; ) just because every single day is taken by something or someone. Ahwell...
Anyway, I'm leaving for my 2 week holiday to Tenerife (like every year) and because i'm a very lazy basterd I've updated the sidebar to contain all my favourite webcomics, that I check each and every day first thing after breakfast. Yes call me freak, and you're probably 110% right. But I couldn't care any less. It's not that i'll be able (or will want) to do that over there, but I will check them, and am too lazy to remember them. Perhaps I will write some over there on some boring moment (Yes I'm freak enough to actually take my laptop stuffed with games/music and a bit of work over there), or maybe not... Who knows, i might even get a girl there *COUGH HACK CHOKE DIE*

...
...right, ok. So that's the heads up. I also urge you to check out a few of those sites I've posted on the sitebar. Some are just plain fun comics, some are story comics and some are both, but in my opinion, all are great. I might even do some reviews of them if asked for it >>; (*cough* like anyone would ask). Ahwell...

I'll see you later, take care y'all (those 3 or 4 who actually read this...It's my treat next time i see y'all if i actually get more comments of readers than that number!)

--W

The Search Ends (preview)

2006-06-17T19:23:00.000+02:00

As Tayana and Ryas passed the gates and entered the town, they felt the dark and unfriendly mood that held the streets in its grasp. Everywhere people huddled past, mostly their faces downcast or hidden by cowls or whatever scraps of clothing could pass for that. Streets and lanes that should be bustling with evening activity now were silent and gloomy, shops long since closed and the artists normally always trying to make a coin now nowhere to be seen. It had its uses though, as no-one eyed 2 wandering Sylvans, usually an extremely rare sight in human civilised placed. "Lets get to an inn Ryas, I don't like this feeling. Feels like blood about to be spilled, or worse..." The thought of the 'worse' made Tayana shiver for a moment before going back to warily eyeing the streets. "We can't Tayana, and you know it. Kiren specifically told us the contact would be waiting for us after dark." Although it was not in his voice, Tayana knew her companion wasn't at ease. Ryas held his left hand on the pommel of the sword on his belt and his right hand kept flutting towards the one one on his back before going back down, his eyes darting about for a threat, any threat. "Lets just go to where he should be waiting, Kiren's map shows it's the fifth alley on out right. Lets keep our eyes open." "Heh, don't be too over-eager to draw your sword, blade teacher, you seem to think that every passerby will jump on us just because we occupy the same space he's walking in." Ryas beamed a grin down on his female friend and gave a low chuckle "Somehow I might not be too far off you know..."

Meanwhile, back at the Thieves' Den, the underground prince counted todays revenues. A whole bag of golden Azen for a map and some info, those Sylvans must be crazy, dumb or desperate to offer such a prize. Grinning to himself while feeling the money slip through his fingers onto the table, he started thinking about all the stuff he could buy from the Guild for that. Maybe he even would have enough for a woman or 2. Yesss, and enough to bribe those 2 dumb guards, so he could check out the "VIP warehouse". He could already feel his prestige and popularity grow. A sudden knock on the door woke him from his daydreams as he hurredly scooped up the weird golden coins and dropped them back in the pouch. A second pair of knocks made him call out in irritation. "If that's you Lig I hope you have some fucking good reason to disturb me while working in my personal quarters." As Kiren opened the door he felt a rush of wind glide past his cheek and the door banged close. Looking over his shoulder he saw a dark cladded figure step out of the shadows, a long oddly curved blade gleaming in the faint light of the candle. "Hello Kiren. I trust you're faring well..." Kiren felt the blood drain from his face as he heard that voice. "YOU!! HOW DID YOU GET IN!??" Stepping forward again, the figure tsk-ed softly "Now now Kiren, there no reason to be shouting to me. I thought we had a deal here... you gave us the heads-up on and below the streets, and you kept me and my partner a secret from prying ears. Why...have you forgotten?" Bumping into the table and falling on the floor Kiren tried to scramble ever backwards, his eyes unable to leave that prying gaze under the dark cowl. "H-hey there Xeryn... N-now don't be hasty, l-l-lets share the profit huh, We both know they'll never find you if you don't want them. L-look! They payed a whole pouch of Azen...g-golden Azen!" "Azen...Aww Kiren, I thought our friendship was worth so much more then mere golden trinkets. You disappoint me..." "Cmon, w-work with me here. It's the biggest scam ever here. Do you know what Azen are worth on the market...? We are rich...rich and set for years!" Taking another step forward the dark figure now stood almost over Kiren, the blade in his hand still unmoving but drawing closer to Kiren's face. "I like being a secret. I don't care that much about money, but more about the job...the secret kill. I thought you knew me Kiren... It almost makes me sad." "B-b-but Xyren...WAIT! Here...you can have it, take it! Please take it a--" Kiren's pleading was cut short as his head was cleanly split in 2, the upper half smootly sliding down to the ground and landing there with a dull splat. His body just sagged and dropped to the floor, jolting the table and dropping the punch on the floor, spilling the golden coins on the floor. "I'm sorry Kiren... I really am, but this ends our relationship..." Swishing his blade with a flick of his wrist to rid it from blood, the figure called Xeryn reached down to pick up a coin. Rolling it around in his black gloved hand he eyed the peculair markings and dropped the coin. "The mark of Tyrana. Hmmm, it seems our 2 visitors aren't the most normal of warriors looking for a quick way to die... Oh well, if they interfere, they're dead, and he shall never know who they were..."

The Nexus

2006-04-15T00:02:00.000+02:00

Morning came too quickly and sleep never left. The first rays of light started to shine through the window when the doctor came for Ryu. "Ah? still in bed? Why didn't you get ready? I told you today was an important day." Letting out a low rumble from his throath, not quite unlike a tiger, Ryu narrowed his eyes at him. "What, do you expect me to go nekkid? I don't know if you *remember*, but all my clothes are gone, the only thing I have left here are my boxers..." and adding in a low mutter not meant to be heard "prolly for decency's sake...pheh." The doctor blinked in (hopefully) mock suprise. "Ah yes, your clothes... Pretty strange those. Well about them..." Ryu locked his eyes on him like a hawk on a prey and growled "I bloodywell hope you still have em...eh??" Suddenly a soft knock came from the door and an elf - sylph? - girl appeared with a bundle in hand with what appeared to be his clothes. Looking from the doctor to Ryu and back she entered the room hesitantly. The doctor motioned to the chair next to Ryu's bed with a wiseman's smile on his face and nodded to the girl. "Thank you." The girl walked over to the chair and carefully put the clothes over the chair, while all the time eyeing Ryu hesitantly. Ryu looked back with a half raised eyebrow and nodded thanks to the girl, which earned him a startled look. The girl then bowed deeply to the doctor with meek eyes and nearly ran off, clearly wanting to get out of the room as quickly as possible. Ryu paid it no immediate heed as he checked his clothes one by one: a light black t-shirt showing a dragon symbol on the right shoulder and a deeper black and blue curved sword on the bottom left side, wide and loose fitting gray-dark green pants with several extra pockets on the sides - his favourite - and a casual, modern style light coat, dark blue and white in colour, a small coiled snake symbol showing on the chest. He noted the stitches on the left knee of the pants, and on his t-shirt and coat from left shoulder to the right side of his middle. He shivered thinking of the accident that caused those, running his fingers over where cut would have been on his chest. After pulling his shirt and pants on, and leaving his coat - it seemed to be warm enough - he looked around for the 'finishing touch'. "Hmmm...? Where are my shoes?" Giving a hesitant nod, the doctor anwsered "Those are still being repaired. They were in more terrible state than the rest...you were pretty beat up when they brought you in. I had the local footwear brought for you as replacement." Ryu grunted as he saw a pair of kahki brown light boots. Pushing his feet into them, they reached a small way up to his shin. The soles felt soft and flexible but seemed to offer still considerable protection for his feet. They were bound by thick shoelaces, that reached from the middle of the foot, up the top, where they were fastened. They reminded Ryu of some greek/roman battle footwear he once saw in a movie back home, only closed and differently coloured, and appearantly not made of coarse leather. Standing up, he paced around a few times, trying them out, wiggling his toes in them for comfort. "Hmm...not bad..." He walked up to the doctor, intoning that he was ready. The doctor eyed Ryu up and down once and shrugged "Well, it'll have to do...Follow me now." Snorting inwardly at the comment Ryu followed him through the door and for the first time since being brought here, outside his small room. The hallway had about the same colour as his room, with a bit more leaf green worked in it. On the walls, strange crystals appeared to be floating in silver-gold holders, emitting a tranquil yellow light. The ceiling was arched, and now and then studded with a lower arch that seemed to have been grown out of the wall. While walking, Ryu gaves his eyes al freedom to quench his curiosity. Passersby seemed to be rare, and those few gaped at Ryu like they would gape at an alien. Well thinking about that, he actually would be quite alien in their view, him being human and all. Ryu gave a low sarcastic chuckle to himself and continued walking, still trying to absorb everything, from colour and architecture to people and items. Lots of teints of green and purple, the walls decorated with intricate patterns of leaves and flowers mixed depictations from what seemed to be deities working their mythes and miracles. Although interesting as it was, after the initial curiosity Ryu had difficulty thinking about anything else then his dead friend. The image that was Kaz's crushed body was etched deep in his mind, and Ryu had to bite down despair and numbing sadness several times to keep him from screaming. With his mind turned inwards Ryu barely noticed the doctor suddenly stopping in front of a big - actually quite huge - intricatly carved door which appeared to be the end of the hallway. Looking over his shoulder at Ryu, the doctor placed his hands on the door "This place is normally never seen by outsiders. It's the heart of where we live and what we are. Follow me closely... and try not to draw too much attention to yourself." The slight pause in the doctor's word make Ryu frown but he tried and to shrug it off for the moment. He did feel quite nervous, though, indeed hating to be the one standing out in a group of people. As the door opened without the stereotypical creak Ryu caught the sight of his life. Grandness spread before his eyes as what the doctor called the 'heart' appeared to be like a medieval elvish shopping centre/city bustling with activity. "Welcome to the Nexus." grinned the doctor. "As you can see this is where all the activities of daily life here take place." Ryu gaped like a 5-year old seeing the grandness of a metropolis for the first time. Everywhere he looked people were going about their business, occasionally stopping to speak and greet eachother. The centre appeared to be a huge pillar with walkways everywhere from the border to the centre. Peering upwards he could barely make out the ceiling where the yellow rays of the sun shone through a cover of leaves and vines. Ryu was shocked out of his trance when the doctor placed a hand on his shoulder. "Heh... This sight never ceases to amaze me. So how do you like it?" gaping from the hall to the doctor with his jaw still halfway to the floor, Ryu uttered a groan of amazement. "H-holy fu...."

Of dreams and nightmares

2006-04-07T22:38:00.000+02:00

Standing in a dark, shrouded room, Ryu looked around at the lifeless, colorless scenery. There were tables, chairs, even plants, but everything was the same grey and black, like a permanent filth covering everything. This place looked a lot like his home, but...wrong...threatening. Not only the room felt threatening. There was an ominous feel, almost like a sound in the room. Like what a rabbit feels when driven...hunted. Yes, that was indeed the feel of this. A sudden shift in the shadows made Ryu spin around in alertness. His heart felt like beating a way out of him through his throat. The room starting blurring and shifting slightly, almost as if being a living thing. Thoughts raced through Ryu's head. Thoughts of loneliness...thoughts of loss...thoughts of despair...and mostly, thoughts of fear. He needed to get out of here before it overwhelmed him...but where? He started scanning around frantically, trying to find something, anything to get out of here. He ran towards the walls, trying to feel the wall for an exit, for a window, a crack, a weak spot to bash down, ANYTHING. But as he ran, so did the room move. No matter how hard he tried, he always ended up standing in the middle of the room. Stopping the attempt he scanned around again, panting heavily, for something to grab onto, perhaps he could drag his way around the room. But as he tried to grab hold of a nearby table, another shift in the shadows made him stop. Behind him there was a door! Finally a way out! But as he tried to make a run for the door a person stepped through. Well, person... Walking shadow was more like it. The shadow spoke, a voice that sounded like death, or maybe something worse, an emotionless, cold sound, like the soft grinding of two gravestones "You cannot leave like this...You will not leave like this..." Ryu felt like screaming as the words were driven like inch long nails in his skull. Putting up resistance was useless. The shadow approached him, a dark tendril held out like a fisted claw. Turning around to flee, Ryu felt a pressure on his chest. It hardened...tightened...increased to crunching levels. Ryu watched in horror as the clas ripped through his chest with a sickening crunch, spilling out life fluids and guts. The pain shot right through to his skull and he screamed... He never heard the sound as the shadow overtook him, swallowed him and conquered him.

With a start and a scream that could have pierced steel Ryu awoke in his nursing room. His head felt like he ran the olympics and his body felt like he swam them, he was soaked in sweat. The fear was gone...the darkness was gone, but the pain stayed...the pain in his chest. Oh god that red hot pain! Supressing another scream into a long, hard groan like some wild animal, Ryu wanted to rub his chest, soothe it, caress it, claw it open, anything to stop the pain. His face contorted into a grimace of horror and pain. He thought about the dream. He was almost sure that figure was his death, trying to bind him to it. He arched his back and screamed in utter pain and terror as he felt ribs shredding themselves out of his chest, the fleshy crunches like a appetizer to the fear.
Then suddenly...all was gone... With a slam the door to his room opened and the doctor ran inside. "What in the name of Kath'ar is happing!?" Ryu fluttered his eyes and forced himself to look at the remains of what once was his chest, only to find the bandages neatly wrapped around him, not even blood staining any of them. "Ghhh...wha-ggghhh-t...". The doctor opened each of Ryu's eyes wide in turn, checking light sensivity. Ryu just watched without moving, not caring if he ever moved again. The doctor checked his pulse, felt his forehead, noted the sweat, then checked the bandages, his face going from worry to confusion to understanding, back to worry. "It seems like magic healing has an adverse affect on you, but I have no idea why". Collecting his strength Ryu spoke throatily "Whhhat do you mhhhean, magic?". Looking at him seriously the doctor anwsered "Those haiki leaves in your dinner? They have immense healing properties, being able to mend any broken bone and clear up the heaviest of concussions in no more then a day. But it somehow seems like the healing process went haywire inside of you." He held out a hand to be placed on Ryu's chest. Ryu drew back at first, but then let him. The doctor placed the hand on his chest and pushed. Drawing in brearth through his teeth, Ryu prepared for the stab of pain, but he felt nothing...not a thing, just the gentle pressure of the doctor's hand. Amazement took over the exhaustion in Ryu's head as his eyes went wide. "See, you're healed, but you shouldn't have been more aware of it then of a fly crawling over your skin. Somehow your body altered how the magic works...?" Ryu grimaced and let out his good old fashioned sarcasm accompanied with a low grunt "Yay for magic healing. Now I know how a fish being gutted must feel, for fu-...for light's sake it hurt like hell...Goddamn it." He wrapped an arm around his chest, feeling if everything was really in it's place like a normal human's anatomy. Everything did feel okay, and even the old fashioned ache between the ribs he had was gone. Grunting again he settled back in his back and sighed deeply. The doctor nodded in sympathy "Yes I understand...better to let you sleep a bit more for now. But seeing as I'm here now, I might as well tell you." Ryu arched an eyebrow at that. More miraculously happy healing techniques? "The Oracle has requested you to come to her in an official audience, tomorrow first thing in the morning." Oracle? Ryu felt like bashing his head against the bedpost for all the good it would do him. All the fantasy cliché and ceremony they were going to put him through... He was already sick of it. He wondered how in the nine hells he could have ever have dreamed of living this...

Spotlights..audio...ACTION

2006-03-19T18:00:00.000+01:00

Aaaalllllright people, it's time for my Periodical BITCHIN' show...

It has come to my attention that some people who were once very close to me have started to ignore me. For a time I continued to try and break through that and offer my help, advice and moral support despite how it ate (and still eats) me form the inside. Well, it's time that you (yes, you know who you are) see the freakin' light about how you make me feel. I did everything for you, went out of my way to help you time and time again. I gave advice from the heart and continued to support you, even when I didn't feel like it, when it went against me, when it destroyed me, and you just took it like it's the most normal thing ever. but now...OOPS lookat that, you broke me. Oh what to do now...ah lets just toss me away, there will be others of me to take the place. *BUUUURRRR* WRONG! Guess what, I might not always be around...you can't just toss me aside and hope i'll be there regardless when you need me. I'm not just some playtoy that magically (ooh lookat the liiights) repairs itself, noooo, that's not what people are.
Ah looky here...i'll make it plain and simple, bus we're allmost out of showtime: you start treating me better or i'll turn my good natured self around and break *you*... I gave EVERYTHING up for y'all, but you just brushed me aside like yesterday's trash... for that i have 2 words...eh no actually i got 4: a BIG fuck you!
Oh and if you've come to see the light after all, because of this...informative little rant, sure go ahead and try...try very very VERY hard...you'll need it.

...

--Trashman out

The First Awakening (aka A New Beginning)

2006-03-02T22:19:00.000+01:00

With a throaty groan Ryu tried to open his eyes, but was met with bright piercing light. Lifting his hand in front of his eyes he tried to get up but fell back as suddenly a sharp numbing pain shot through his chest. He tried leaning on his left arm as a second try, but had to lay back again as the pain struck again, shooting from his ribs through his whole body, numbing muscles and hampering breath. "Whoa easy there, you're still far from recovered" a voice spoke. It sounded... learned, but not at all old. "Try to lay still. Your wounds were, and are, very serious." Letting out a short labored sigh, Ryu lay back, still holding his right hand in front of his face to block the light. Taking a deep breath (not too deep, the pain was still present) Ryu tried to speak, but only a weak sound came out "W-where...?". "Easy now...don't strain yourself", the anwser came, "You're in good hands, don't worry" Starting to feel the edges of irritation at not getting a straight anwser, Ryu tried again "Where...is this place? Wh...who are you?" He had to take his breath after talking, his chest started to hurt pretty bad...breathing hurt. "I'm a doctor, and as a doctor, and you a badly injured patient, you should follow my advice and stop talking, and sleep some more. You can ask your questions after you rested." Letting out something that was between a sigh and a grumble Ryu gave up his efforts. Eyelids started to droop...But...Don't want to sleep...don't...want...to.......Where.........Kaz.........Whhh---.......

Waking up from a sleep that felt was going on for days, Ryu carefully peeked one eye open, then opened the other one when seeing that the light was out. Feeling a lot more awake than last time, he moved his head from his position to try and look around some. He wasn't going to try to sit up again, for his chest still felt pretty pain-ridden. The room was empty, to Ryu's disappointment, and sighing again he tried looking around for thing to recognise. The walls were painted (was it paint?) in a warm purple and green that seemed to soothe the nerves, and there was a ornately carved framed window to his left, with the shutters closed. Beneath the window was a pot with a strange kind of plant in it. The plant was made of all leaves, but at the end of the leaves were moderatly big yellow bulbs that seemed to be the only noticeable source of dim light in the room. Arching an eyebrow and blinking several times Ryu tried to think if such a plant was really possible...maybe he was just dreaming and...Drawing a deep breath he gasped as the pain once more attacked his ribs, and slumped back on the bed. Pain...means no dream...means...what is this place??? Taking another good look around the room, Ryu saw several more pieces of furniture: a chest with drawers, a table, 3 chairs... all worked in the same intricate ornate pattern as the windowframe. It nearly seemed like some exotic medieval work. What - the - HELL - is - this - place....??? This started to get weirder and weirder by the minute... When that doctor comes back, he'll have a *lot* of explaining to do...

But waiting was an entirely different thing altogether. Getting up was out of the question really, the pain in his chest would kill him by only getting up, and there was nothing to do once you got past looking at the weird furniture and plant and gave up trying to figure out where the source of light in this room really came from. The only thing really seeming to emitting light was the plant, but if that was the case (how could such a thing be possible anyway? a lighting plant?), there should be shadows on the other side of the bed, but no such thing. The entire room bathed in the low dim light. The whole place seemed to be made to appear cozy and welcoming, the color also adding to the aura of tranquility. This was sure as hell no hospital room...or it would be a chamber where the dead were shown to family...but Ryu wasn't dead...he didn't feel dead...he just felt...mangled...and...extremely tired...and........--NO! Must keep eyes open...can't fall asleep now, I need to stay awake for when that doctor comes back...must... Just when Ryu's eyes started to drift close and he had given up on keeping them open he noticed the door opening slowly. A narrow stream of light cast into the room and grew a bit wider, but was suddenly blocked by a narrow figure, not likely to be the doctor. Squinting his eyes against the piercing light, Ryu tried to take a good look. Fairly tall, just a bit under his own length, long strands of hair to the waist -hmmm...female?- nice curvy hips -hmmm...female...- long pointy...ears??? He must be very tired if he's seeing that. Thinking it might be better if he had some more rest he laid his head back with a sigh and closed his eyes, waiting for the doctor to come again.

The feeling of a warm hand on his forehead woke Ryu and a smiling face looked down on him. "Your fever seems better" the face said. Ryu recognised it as the doctor from before. "You must have quite a few questions, yes?" Hesitating visibly, Ryu frowned at which question to ask first. "Well...yeah...ehm...Where...eh" Before Ryu could come up with a decent question the doctor anwsered "You're in the Sylvan tree city Tyranna. You were found in the eastern desert, half dead and brought here by the Sylvan people". Arching an eyebrow quizically, Ryu looked straight at the doctor. Sarcasm and contempt were heavy in Ryu's voice "Really 'doctor'...You think it's fun getting hit by a truck, hearing your best friend die just before you see darkness all around you, and then hearing some lame joke when you first wake up from being near dead??!!" The shock on the doctor's face was almost enough to make Ryu laugh, if he wasn't so dead serious. "What's a...'truck'?" the doctor asked. The word 'truck' came out so hesitant and wrong that Ryu had no choice but the believe that the man really didn't know what a truck was. "Truck...car...motorized vehicle...?" The doctor shook his head in confusion. Ryu still had trouble believing the man's ignorance. "Okay then...What kinds of transportation you do have here?" Scratching his head the doctor anwsered "Ehmm...carts, weelbarrels, boats, but those not here... Ehm, for the rest there's the horses and the Sa'araath" Ryu goggled at that last. It came out so natural "What the f--...eh... what the hell's a Sa'araath?" At that question the doctor flashed a small smile "Ah, that're those weird lizards the Sylvan ride into battle, but they're also used for long distance travel over rugged areas. I know, they take some getting used to, hehe." Thoughts ran through Ryu's head. This guy sounds so damn serious, yet he's talking complete nonsense and bullcrap. Ah were did he get into now... A knock came at the door and what appeared as a servant girl came entering with in her hands a platter with a bowl filled with some sort weird mushy looking meal. The first thing Ryu noted where to clothes: a lush green robe embroided with leaves and forest patterns, darker green in the middle, and at the edges the patterns turned a sparkly gold. Aiming his gaze higher he saw a young, pretty face with very light asian features, eyes coloured deepest emerald, and long pointy ears sprouting horizonally from under long golden blond hair. It took a moment for Ryu to notice that he was staring openmouthedly at the servant girl. Those ears! Those......eyes! That.........face! That's a freaking ELF!! A freaking bloody living real life ELF!! WHAT THE FUCK???!!! Gulping down a lump in his throath, he hoped he didn't say that last out loud, he was already being rude enough as it is, staring so...extensively. But still... An ELF? C'mon man, what is this, freaking carnival? halloween?? out of time dress up party??? Ryu very much wanted to scurry over and pull those ears to see if they were real. But he could barely move as it was and he didn't want the girl to think him rude *and* loose-fingered. Tearing his gaze away from the ELF-girl servant he instead stared at the doctor. He had to work his mouth several time for moisture before Ryu could produce anything more intelligent then 'Duuuuhhh'. "You...you...were for real, weren't you...?" Nodding slowly the doctor motioned for the girl to put the platter on the table nex to his bed. She made a small bow before taking one last look at Ryu and leaving as swiftly and soundlessly as she came. Shock still had Ryu's mind in a jumble when he tried to take it in and think about it rationally. So that doctor-guy wasn't pulling my strings after all... What name did he use? Sylvan? Hmm, it did sound kind of fantasy-like. Agh... Lifting a hand to his head he tried to supress the ache between his eyes. It was when he closed his eyes that he noticed the scent wafting from the food. That smelled good and Ryu reached for the platter...or tried to... The doctor noted the attempt and helped Ryu by putting the platter on his lap on the bed. "It's deer-meat broth with haiki leaves, had it made for you to help you recover." "Ah...thanks" Trying a spoonful of the pappy broth, Ryu nodded and smiled at the taste "This is good!" The taste brought back Ryu's forgotten hunger, and soon he was attacking his meal like a starving predator. The doctor gave a small nod and moved for the door "Well i'll let you eat then. Be sure to get some more sleep after you ate, in case you didn't notice, it's late evening here now." Ryu nodded and mouthed a quick 'thanks' and 'sure, will do' between spoons of tasty, meaty, warm heavenly food.
After he finished, Ryu pushed the platter on the table and tried to lay comfortable. The filled, warm feeling made Ryu sigh with a content smile, and he tried to straighten out his thoughts. What a weird awakening... A human doctor telling me I'm in some god-knows-how-it-was-called Sylvan city, after being found in some bloody eastern desert after getting hit by a freakin' modern technology truck in mid-city. Whatever became of Kaz? damn bro...where are you? What happened? Did that guy say I was alone when I was found? No, he didn't say anything about that...Shi--- aarrggg...I hate not knowing...Please don't be dead...please...you can't be...you were my best friend, my brother...my brother...curse it...curse...luck...damn........this........
The fatigue from the shock and Ryu's wounds finally caught up to him, as together with the satiated feeling from the food it started to work it's wonders on Ryu. Sleep came...

But it would not come peaceful, this night...

Haiku

2006-02-10T23:03:00.000+01:00

Heart and Soul are gone.
Can a man live without them?
Oh let me start anew.

Depression Intermezzo

2006-02-04T20:55:00.000+01:00

I found this song while listening to a J-pop stream and I found them to be exactly like my inner self. It's been 8 months and still i'm not over it...talk about pathetic eh. I still use my blog to express my feelings sometimes, so...here it is.

I'm looking for you
Trying to reach your roses
Carried away by the time
Seijaku no kyouki ni katame wo
Tsubusaseta mama

You've gone away
From the stage leaving no words
There's just fake tears left
Isuwari no shinju de kazatta
Bara no hanataba wo sagasu

I'm blind insane
In the red of silence
Now I've lost your love
Gnkaku no ai ni kawareta
Aatsuri ningyo

Get me on my feet
Get me back to myself
Pretend you love me
Yubisaki made shinku ni somatta
Ore wo mitsumete

Moe taekirenai kodoku no serenade
Kyozou no umi ni nagashite
Yume kara sameta chimamire no tenshi wo
Mune ni daitemo
I can not stop

Silent jealousy
Don't you leave me alone
Kanashimi ni midarete
Modorenai ai wo kazaru
Kurikaesu kodoku no naka ni

Tell me true doko ni yukeba
Kurushimi wo aiseru
I still want you love ai wo tomete
Kurui saku kioku wo keshite

I just wanted to stay with you
I just wanted to feel your breath of grace
I didn't know what to do
I couldn't say anything
When consciousness returned
Everything had been washed away
By the tide of time, even you
But the scars of memory never fade away
I can't stop loving you
Stop my tears
Stop my loving
Kill my memories

You dyed my heart in blood
No way to kill my sadness
Tachisaru mae ni koroshite
Kyouki no ai ni dakareta hitomi wa
Nani mo mienai
Ima mo I miss you
Can't live without you

Silent jealousy
Yume ni ochite
Dakishimeru kioku wo
Stay in yesterday
Toki wo tomete
Kurikaesu kodoku wo keshite
Take me back to the memory, to the dream
Silent jealousy
Don't you leave me alone
Kanashimi ni midarete
Kill me love

[TRANSLATION]

I'm looking for you
Trying to reach your roses
Carried away by the time

Playing with the silent madness

You've gone away from the stage
Leaving no words
There's just fake tears left

Looking for that bouquet of roses
That are admired through false pearls

I'm blind insane
In the red of silence
Now I've lost your love

Look at me
I'm stained to my fingertips in deep red
I can't stand this song of silence
Flowing into the sea of phantom images
Even if I hold my heart
The blood stained angel that has arisen
I can not stop

Silent jealousy
Don't you leave me alone
Falling into sadness
Adored by love
That I can't return to
Into this repetitive solitude
Tell me true, where ever I go
I must learn to love this pain
I still want your love
Stop your love
Silence the memories
Where the madness grows

I just wanted to stay with you
I just wanted to feel the breath of your grace
I didn't know what to do
I couldn't say anything
When consciousness returned
Everything had been washed away by the tide of time, even you
But the scars of memory never fade away
I can't stop loving you
Stop my tears
Stop my loving
Kill my memories

You dyed my heart in blood
No way to kill my sadness
Kill me before you leave
I can't see anything
With the vision set on maddened love
Even now, I miss you
I can't live without you

Silent jealousy
Fall into a dream
Keep holding on to the memory
To the dream
Silent jealousy, don't you leave me alone
Fading into sadness
Kill me love

--Warynn

Still alive

2006-01-01T23:05:00.000+01:00

Yes, I am still alive for all those who wondered (if any). It's been an extremely busy time, with all the schoolwork and other...time consuming stuff. I haven't had the time or energy to work on any of my projects, but fear not, they're still alive. The story is under development, and believe me it's a helluva lot of work... I need new characters :4 for the moment...maybe 2 extra for the major badguys if i already need them... I also need: a whole new world + explanation + metaphysical construction + fitting that in the story. Next on my "what I need list": major conversations, major places (which is a problem seeing as i need the world fully explained first), other races (What? you thought I'd stick to humans alone? c'mon people, that boring :p), groupings, clans of people, blah blah blah, the whole stuff around it. It's not easy, seeing as 1) I barely have enough time to develop that all in my mind. 2) I don't have the energy to fully devote myself to thinking things out properly, so it's on hold now...
Blasted exams are taking all my time now...holidays my overgrown ass...slavework!! :( According to the exam schedual, the week after the exames seems to be free...I sincerely hope I'll be able to progress a bit better then, but i have many things i'm working on. (programming, writing, aaaaaand....eehhm...shtuff =P). And on top of those exams i'm now sick... might even develop to a nasty flu...bleagh... When i'm this sick I always seem to lose my center, and whatever mental barriers i have erected to stop myself from losing my sanity seem to fail. I don't know how to feel or what to do or...gyaarrghh, it's weird enough to leave me a twitching heap of rejection on the floor. And I need to learn again what it is to be loved...it's been too long, or maybe it's just the sickness creeping up on me. I remember having weird visions when i was little, everytime i was very sick, that scared the living hell out of me. Never had that feeling again, but this comes close tho...it's like being drunk, but only your subconcious is feeling the effect of it, and doing weird things to your normal conciousness. Aaaaand i'm ranting nonsense neh? Hah, always was bad at telling stuff, that's why I'm a listener and not a talker.
See you later all...and oh...

HAPPY NEWYEAR!!

--Warynn

Oblivion's embrace

2005-11-29T20:28:00.000+01:00

...

It was nearing the evening of a warm summer day. At the city's play garden children enjoyed the last rays of daylight as they ran after eachother playing games like tag and hide-and-seek. The noise they created was a warm and welcome sound, the sound of happiness, youth and simple bliss. Parents and elders were monitoring their kids from a distance, smiling at the innocent scene unfolded before their eyes. Soon though, the last light of day died down and so childeren and parents went home. One such kid, a little boy nearing the age of 5 ran towards his big sister as she called him over. "Aww do we have to go already, big sis?" the boy asked. Chuckling lightly she anwsered "It's almost dark Ryu, mom and dad are going to be worried." Pouting he reluctantly took her hand, looking back over his shoulder at the play garden. "You can come again tomorrow okay? Now if we hurry and get home on time I'll read you a bed story". Ryu looked up as his sister with a big smile on his face and nodded "Promise okay?" he said excitingly. His big sister returned the smile and winked at him "Of course! Now come on! Last one home is a rotten egg!" and started running ahead. With a whoop he raced after his sister, laughing all the way...

...

Coming from downstairs the sound of plates and vases crashing against walls echoed through the house. A hoarse male voice yelled menacingly "You're so stupid bitch!", then another crash followed. "Don't you talk to me like that! Get out of my house!!" came the anwser. Upstairs Ryu huddled close to his sister with every loud sound. Tears were streaming down his face and his whole body shuddered continuously. The soft strokes through his hair given by his sister didn't help much as Ryu could feel she was also fear and worry striken. Slowly he raised his head and looked at his sister, asking "Why are mommy and daddy fighting so much? ... Will they ever stop?". She heaved a trembling sigh and took him even tighter in her arms, still stroking his short blonde hair. "I don't know Ryu...". Feeling the tears welling up in his eyes again, he buried his face in his sister's chest, clenching her blouse... trying so hard to be strong...

...

The room was a typical hospital bedroom, monitoring machines abuzz with activity, the monotonic beep of the cardiac monitor a constant factor in the depressing mood that circled the room. Ryu looked at the person in the bed, a pale face with dark-circled eyes, hair in a chaotic mess, oxygen mask over her mouth. Sitting beside the bed he took her hand and gently squeezed it, hoping he could send her a message. He still wondered why she had to be sick...Why did she have to go through this suffering... She's done nothing wrong...she's always been there for me...Why...WHY DAMMIT! Ryu gave a start as she opened her eyes, flashing a faint smile at him. "Sis!...Hello big sis...how are you? I hope I didn't wake you". Smiling still she weakly shook her head at him. Feeling amazed at how strong she was he squeezed her hand again for reassurance, hers or mine?, and smiled back, a sad smile. "Ryu..." she whispered hoarsly. "Don't talk sis...you should rest, so you can get better". "Ryu...be strong Ryu...don't be sad..." She swallowed once and continued. "I know you can be strong...I believe in you...". Trying to make his smile less sad, Ryu gave her a kiss on her forehead. "The doctor said I can stay here for the night." She nodded..."I'd like that..."
As the lights in the hall died down, so did Ryu's conscience drift away into oblivion...
It was morning... The doctor's voice sounded far away "Wake up...!"

...

"Wake up...!"

.........uuuuggghh...

"Wake up Ryu..."

...huh...what? who's....?

"Wake up Ryu Alvein... It's time..."

...Time?

The light was bright!

Quick Update

2005-11-24T21:13:00.000+01:00

Hey all,
Quick update. Second part is coming soon, but between my lazyness and writers block/n00bie skills it isn't easy. More comments people! :) It warms my heart, gives me feedback and shows to me that i'm not doing this for nothing. Some must have read the story without commenting... I hope ~.~; and it's way better then me whining all the time.
Ah anyway, going to get some much needed sleep, you could almost drown in the black pools beneath my eyes :s

EDIT (27/11): Thanks for the comments and feedback people :). Part 2 is about 2/3 done (estimated).

--Warynn

Prelude

2005-11-18T22:41:00.000+01:00

It's was an early morning. A calm morning, just like every other one...preferably. The pale orange light from street lanterns shone through the windows of the train carriage at regular intervals. With it came the low sound of iron wheels running smoothly on iron tracks, a sound ebbing and flowing like a barely audible hypnotizing chant. Outside, the first few rays of light started appearing from behind the horizon. It would be morning soon... But for now it was still night for all he cared. And night is not a pleasant time to wake up. Ah well... Just grin and bear it.
The first high corporate buildings started appearing just when the train started slowing down. Groaning slowly and blinking several times Ryu started to wake up. A hatefull feeling really. "Are we there already?" he muttered to himself, then took his brown school backpack and stood up, slinging it over his right shoulder. The few other passengers who were in the same carriage copied Ryu's behaviour, resentfully waking up from their shallow slumber with longstretched yawns and half closed eyes then gathering their belongings and heading for the train's doors. Ryu blinked a few times again to get the sleep out of his eyes, then fumbled with his sleeve to look at his watch. 7:30 . With tired steps he headed behind the other passengers, waiting for the train to arrive at the final stop, ready for whatever life was going to throw at him today...but not really.
With a screeching sound the train came to a full stop. As he stepped outside the frustrating noise from heavy construction met him head on. Along with it came the simply irritating sound of morning people going from and to work, with too much to tell eachother at this time. Why, oh why does everything sound so *loud* and *annoying* in the morning? putting both straps over his shoulder now Ryu shrugged once to realign his backpack well on his shoulders, then set of on his usual path: through the morning masses on his way to school. Above him the train station's roof was supported by old and ugly dark red metal girders and not so sturdy looking but equally old glass window walls. Beneath the roof, the new platforms radiated a wholly different aura. One of a modern, newly designed style, with smooth light gray marble blocks and "high-tech" announcement signs, complete with esotherically placed garbage cans. Construction of this new part was still going on but the contrast was already quite painfull. It didn't interest Ryu. It was a sight he had to watch on a daily level. Everyday on and off...
He didn't really like this current life style, getting up early, listening to some old fart in his midlife crisis quoting from some boring book, getting bitched at for not paying attention, and after that different class, same ritual. Then when all that was over packing your books and heading the opposite direction again, back to home.
Muttering, still, to himself about the cold weather Ryu just strode on, knowing very well that escape from life is impossible. Not that he didn't dream of it. Looking at that aspect of himself he knew he was a full fledged romantic dreamer. Someone with a hate for common day boring life with a taste for sci-fi or fantasy adventure. Pathetic really... But he didn't care. At least he wasn't weird, it all checked out according to the clichés. Hehh...
Arriving at his class fifteen minutes of walking later he sat down and got poked by his best friend Kaz. "What's with the grumpy face?". Arching an eyebrow at his classmate Ryu grumbled softly "You tell me why I should be smiling when I got out of my bed for another day of nonsense." Kaz chuckled lightly and leaned back on his chair, running a hand through his short, blond curly hair "You didn't have to... You know classes aren't obligatory here in college". With a sigh Ryu placed his head on the bench and closed his eyes "Really now... I'd like to graduate in the end yknow. I don't want to spend any more time here then absolutely neccesary." Kaz simply nodded and patted his friend on the shoulder getting a grin for anwser. As Ryu almost drifted back into a sweet peaceful slumber again a staff member entered the room and addressed everyone present. "Prof Cole is absent today, that means your current class is cancelled. Good day all". Suddenly wide awake and with a seething fury directed at all the universe Ryu violently grabbed his bag to sling it over his back, nearly knocking Kaz over in the process and headed for the door with wide strides. "For freaking bloody fuck's SAKE! THIS is why I got out of bed!? I cannot be-fucking-lieve this horseSHIT!!" Kaz quickly caught up to Ryu laughing heartedly with the whole situation. "This is hilarious...3 hours of free time for nothing. No, 4! with recess!" Shooting a angry look at his amused friend Ryu hit the elevator door with his fist, having to hold back not to do it several times, just to work off his morning mood and frustration. When the elevator arrived, Ryu and Kaz got inside and pushed the ground floor button. "So what do you want to do now?" Kaz inquired. Shrugging slightly Ryu grunted an anwser. "I guess we can't do anything but hang out in the city I guess. We have to get back for the afternoon classes still... dammit". "Yeah" Kaz nodded and both stepped outside when the elevator doors opened on the ground floor. "How about we go to the pub and get ourselves a drink? My treat." A smile appeared on Ryu's face and his foul mood got a bit brighter because of his friend's suggestion. Maybe this day wasn't going to be bad after all?
Stepping outside, they headed along the street, taking turns here and there towards their favourite place. The city was already bustling with pedestrians and traffic, cars zigzagging between the big container trucks, bikers pedalling onward towards their destination, trying to stay clear of the other dangerous motorised traffic, and occasionally the odd motor cycle zooming in between the slower cars. Ryu and Kaz nearly reached the pub when suddenly some screeching came from behing the street's corner as several people started screaming and came running in the opposite direction. "What the hell?"Kaz barely had the time to utter a curse before a small truck came speeding on the wrong lane towards the sidewalk where he and Ryu were walking. Ryu's eyes widened as he saw the oncoming vehicle and yelled "It's out of control!", but all effort for warning and escape came too late. Desperately trying to brake, the truck hopped on the edge of the sidewalk, taking Kaz down sidewards with a sickening crunch and hitting Ryu frontally tumbling him over the hood. The last thing Ryu was aware of was the sound his friend's breaking body... Then everything went dark. So dark... so... very.................. dar...-

Miracles (and smirking)

2005-11-05T00:25:00.000+01:00

Hehh, that's the first time work had me feeling satisfied and made me forget my worries. Miracles ain't gone yet eh... Pheh *smirk* Thanks Lars for asking me that question eh, damn Java!
I would update more but my emotional state has me all exhausted and ragged up. Another empty day tomorrow, i'm not looking forward to it, hehh *still smirking* Whatever...

--W

Craptastic

2005-10-25T18:00:00.000+02:00

(this was first typed as a reply to a previous bunch of comments, but i thought i'd make it public)

"Hehhh, guess you're right. kinda bad timing now tho....i was thinking about updating again, then cus of social life fuckups (that are my fault) i *so* know i'm going to get shot at again at a very personal level if i post here, so i'd rather not. I'm not stable enough any more to recieve any verbal punishment. I'm already thinking about creating a new blog... away from all my fuckups... it's possible neh? Just wish it was possible irl...(*gets shot at again*) ahwell...we'll see, for those not affected by my fuckups and/or still wanna read this stuff, comment here that you want a new blog and i'll send ya the new URL if i get enough positive comments"

--W

Suuure, "think you know me"

2005-09-18T12:22:00.000+02:00

Since some people do mind me expressing my inner feelings and general state of mind here, by taking what i wrote and generating a lot of bullcrap out of it, i'm taking a 'break' from blogging. Temporarely or permanently i don't know, but at least it'll be a whole freaking time before I feel like opening up again.

Fuck you! really...

--W

Song close to my soul

2005-09-18T01:43:00.000+02:00

FictionJunction featuring YUUKA
the wheels of dawn

風さそう木陰に附せて泣いてる
見も知らぬ私を私が見ていた
逝く人の調べを奏でるギターラ
来ぬ人の嘆きに星は落ちて
the wind calls, in the shade of the trees, i lie face down in tears
i saw my own self that i don't even recognize
the guitar plays a tune for the dead
the stars fall in grief of the absent

行かないで、どんなに叫んでも
オレンジの花びら静かに揺れるだけ
やわらかな額に残された
手のひらの記憶遥か
とこしえのさよならつま弾く
no matter how i scream "don't go"
orange petals just flutter in silence
remaining on that tender forehead
distant memories from my palm
strumming an eternal goodbye

優しい手にすがる子供の心を
燃えさかる車輪は振り払い進む
逝く人の嘆きを奏でてギターラ
胸の糸激しく掻き鳴らして
clinging to a child's heart with gentle hands
the blazing wheels shake off
the guitar plays a lament for the dead
strumming furiously on the strings of my heart

哀しみに染まらない白さで
オレンジの花びら揺れてた夏の影に
やわらかな額を失くしても
赤く染めた砂遥か越えて行く
さよならのリズム
with whiteness that won't dye in sorrow
orange petals fluttered in the shadow of summer
even if i lose that tender forehead
the rhythm of goodbye
will cross the distant red-dyed sands

思い出を焼き尽くして進む大地に
懐かしく芽吹いて行くものがあるの
trudging through the lands, burning memories
there's something dear growing

暁の車を見送って
オレンジの花びら揺れてる今も何処か
いつか見た安らかな夜明けを
もう一度手にするまで
消さないで灯火
車輪は廻るよ
let the wheels of dawn go
orange petals flutter off somewhere, even now
someday, until the tranquil dawn i saw
comes to hand again
don't extinguish the light
the wheels turn

Trudging through the lands, burning memories

2005-09-18T01:13:00.000+02:00

Hi all (who-ever's left here), I'm back....kinda. Last free day now, past midnight ^^; still felt like talking on msn or i would have gone to sleep now, just got back from a "card's night". It was cool, had a good time and saw my buddies from my previous school again. Damn I missed those guys :) Nothing beats old friends, especially those. I could use friends, i'm losing em left and right. Like my 'best' friend. I know, it's kinda...harsh to put it here, but it's been a running issue. He's changed...a lot, and not for the better. Yeah he also had a difficult period, but he worked himself through it with suprising speed. Prollly succeeded doing that by changing so much. We used to be able to talk so very wel, always the same things on our mind and always able to read what the other was thinking. Now...I feel like he doesn't know me anymore. He used to call me all the time and during holidays we were more at each other's house then at our own. ...good old days... Now he goes to his other 'friends'. His pot smoking (seriously) 'my-ego-is-bigger-then-my-ass-is-bigger-then-my-house' type of friends. And then if he does invite me over, it's almost like i'm not there. Most of the time i spend with his brother when i'm there, at least i'm still able to laugh heartily together with his brother. Otherwise we're both doing something totally different with no talking at all. Even worse when his gf is over, then i could as well be smoke or void (which is *in a way* logical, but damn...) Ah hell, this cynical attitude i adopted tells me to just wait and see what comes. I wonder if he'll read this... ...prolly not -.-; *coldness*

This may sound a whining post again, but it's less whining then the last few...This is more a thought issue post. (blah blah excuse excuse, whatever ;) I'm improving, slowly but steadily.

--Warynn

2005-09-03T00:43:00.000+02:00

What I wouldn't give to start over again...

2005-08-27T21:12:00.000+02:00

No matter how long i thought for a title for this post, I can't seem to find a fitting one... "dead man walking" "breaking the habit", just al seems too...too something. So i'll just leave it blank.

For those of you who don't wanna read another whining post, scram, leave me in my black pit, for ther others...hehh.

I've crossed several new lines of being screwed up ...if I just had this tiny bit more guts, I'd..... *sigh* ...Ghawd... the monitor light pierces my skull, think I have a concussion, imma lie down for a bit after this...
I'm so fucked up now, i'll be needing a miracle te return to my former self...This just boggles all my former logic, how deep a person can sink, and still live. Think it's that lack of pure guts that keeps me from ending. "So much more to do in life" hah! Yesterday eveything seemed to turn out okay, i even almost made up my mind what to do and how. Then today i "started" it. I actually had a useful day, like I intended...*scornful* look where it got me! Even deeper down the freaking drain. If this is life, fuck it. Everything I really tried to go for just gets crushed time and time again. And I have no choice but to keep it all bottled up inside. There's no-one who really, totally understands me for who i am and how i try to be, what i like and dislike, and so forth and so on. then again, i don't think anyone would be interested in a person like me, statistically it should already happened, just impossible to fall this low. There's one but...pfff, hopeless, she always crushes hope too, altho i don't hold it to her. I thought i had something to live for, but....hehhh. No I don't want her to feel bad. so... sorry. (yeah i know i'll get an angry post from a specific person because i'm ready to give up, but hell, do YOU want to live on like this? This is bullshit, everything i tried to build for the future just *always* gets crushed. There's only so many times i can try to go on. Yesh maybe it was once my own fault, but you also gave up on me eh // Then there's this other important person who won't even read this, even tho i always gotta read theirs...pheh, read it dammit and see for yourself how fucked up I got by all this shit with you)
Bottomline: I don't want to keep going on like this, I don't want to go on like everyone tells me to...*not* like this..
Now i gotta lie down...the room's spinning...

Rurounin

2005-08-20T23:32:00.000+02:00

I'm watching Rurouni Kenshin: The movie again. I just got it today. It isn't a perfect version, but it'll do. I'm...having mixed feelings about watching it though. I always wished, when I first had to delete it, that I wanted to see the movie again with someone I love. Although it is a bloody movie, it is a movie about love, and how deeply love can go. Now I'm watching it again...alone...hitotsu. *Sigh* Feels...not good, really. Feels cold... Mixed with the feelings the movie give me it's not, how should i say it... comfortable. It really feels like there's one thing missing.

I wonder...Will it keep missing? Or will actually someone who truely understands me for who I am, watch the movie with me. Sometimes... no, lately: most of the time, I feel like I doubt it...doubt that it will actually happen someday. Hehh, i can already imagine you people post comments meant to cheer me up: "of course it will happen, you'll see." But...*sigh* I don't know... it's been so long now...

I feel glad i'm actually having a 'random thought' post again, instead of a 'passionate' post. It's still not a positive one, but it feels better, a lot better now. Almost makes me smile. This is the way a blog was meant to be made: of random thoughts, not of passionate outbursts of desperation or hate or whatever for that matter. Oh well... It feels good.

Maybe I'll post some more, after I finished watching the whole movie (just finished part 1 of 4). If you haven't seen the movie or the series, I *urge* you to do so. It's a great series to who a lot of different types of people will feel attracted. Or maybe come and join me. Hehh...

Anyway, goodnight all.

--Warynn

A Guardian once more...

2005-08-17T23:49:00.000+02:00

Thank you for giving me back a purpose for living...

--W

(altho this post is for one person only, it is so important to me that I put it here)

2005-07-28T20:54:00.000+02:00

Dit gaat der godverdomme over. altij doet ze mij voelen ofda het ffs mijn fout is, nu heeft ze zelfs andere mensen tege mij opgezet. ze beseft godverdomme niks anders dan haar eigen miserie, fuck this SHIT, IK ZEN DEZE KLOTEBOEL KOTSBEU GODVERDOMMEEEUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ik had hier lyrics wille kopieren van "beauty is within us", een song van Ghost in the Shell: SAC, maar deze klotecomp op vakantie laat mij geen copy paste of rightclicking toe. hatelijk... dus hier de link.

http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/ghostshell/beauty.html

geeft perfect weer hoeda ik mij voel, alleen is de haat (en liefde) op iemand anders dan "mother dear" gericht.
Love this song.

--W (was too damn tired to write full english, so if you wanna know, post a comment and i'll post a translation)

Inner Turmoil

2005-07-22T23:49:00.000+02:00

The storm after the calm eh... I feel like i have my soul and insides violently reassigned multiple times in a row right now, and my heart is gone during the whole process...just need to get that off my back. I know it's been a month, and everything went great uptill now, and now things're going bad again, here i am. I've been using some lame excuse that's not included here, for not updating, now i realise it's a pretty idiotic one. Oh well.
Geez i wonder if life itself has such an utter and total hate against me to turn a wonderful time into a total shithole in mere minutes. Un-be-fucking-lievable. If anyone still reads this, and wants to know how it happened, ask. I kinda don't feel like ranting for no-one here.
Leaving on a vacation to tenerife on monday. Mixed feelings about it. I do think i'll rant about it on several days. They have internet over there, altho it's really fucking expensive. And if my mood stays like this (prolly it will...wonder how i ever going to get this out of my head/off my back) there are updates guaranteed. Oh yeah and i think i'll update the link sidebar. Just so i don't have to go remembering all my favourite sites when i want to check em from abroad. Well, i'm ranted out for the moment. Wonder who's still with me.

Chill out y'all, ja ne

--Warynn

Cutting through a silver sky.

2005-06-17T21:45:00.000+02:00

Heya all. I'm back from the dark. It's been a while since I last posted (again...I blame my laziness).
Soooo...what to say... Well exams are over. I've got a week of doing nothing in front of me, and altho it's going to be VERY boring at some points, I really love it. It's just what I needed. And like suddenly there's a change of wind, things are starting to look up for me. No exams means no stress from that source, my dilemma from previous post is solved (altho it was at some point like biting through a really sour apple), and life is nice in general. Strange is the way things flow.
Well about that dilemma. What mister Ritesh Dahiya suggested actually happened... before he posted it. They didn't both pick me, and altho it was painful at moments I'm happy with the way things went. I hope stuff stays to be good like this, only a little bit more then one week and i'll hopefully be really happy again ^^;;. Now i kinda feel bad for those that still have problems tho >>... *sigh* hehh well.
I bought Guild Wars the collector's edition as a treat to myself after exams and i have to say, WoW, move aside and die O.o; GW is waaaaaay better. I know some people may want to kill me painfully now, but everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion so live with it. And NO monthly fee!! Eat that!!!! ^^; I do think lvl cap of 20 is extremely low, but with *those* Exp rates it's going to take a while. I'm more the person to follow the RO style: lvl 100 and keep em counting baby! But oh well ^^;;; So if anyone decides to look for me, my char's name is Warynn Alvein. I'm in one of the European districts, or if someone from the american servers wants to meet me, gimme a message here or on my msn, so we'll arrange a meeting the international district.
That's all I have to say for today, I'm still a little worn out from last night's going out (one of the few times i went out...) and my internal clock is kinda screwed up. Maybe more about that later :).

Cy'all, peace

--Warynn

doubts

2005-06-07T21:12:00.000+02:00

So...being unable to come to a good conclusion I've decided to post my biggest doubt of my life here and take advice from you people. It's an emotional/love dillemma which i'm finding so freaking hard to come out of. Both sides have equal cons and pros (for me that is). Kinda hard for me to explain all of them here but i'll try my best. The choice between 2 girls (how freakin' cliché eh...hate that fact)
On one side there is a girl which i have 100% certainity for a great relationship. I haven't done much together with her, but we talked a HUGE lot on msn and i know almost everything (literally everything) about her. We broke up cus of doubts, but we both still love eachother a lot, of that i am very sure. But getting together again with her would also mean having to break her up with her bf. So once i choose her there's no going back at al, ever again. I will not hurt her again like that.
On the other side there's the other girl. I've known her for...6 years? 7? And I've loved her during that whole time. But lately she's been very down and chaotic. Whenever i try to help her she keeps pushing me away and she broke with me up cus of her emotional problems before...twice. Hurt like hell. Now i still feel for her too, and she for me. But i'm not sure...just not entirely sure. And there's also the chance she might break up with me again if we go back together. But hen again it's so very hard to just throw all those years away, almost impossible. she said i'd be the first to know if she wanted a relation. I love her so much too...but is it worth getting hurt again?
So now i'm balancing in between those 2 choices. Which one to pick... And no matter how long i think and no matter how many logic i throw against it (my normal way of solving stuff, which has solved these kind of problems before) i just can't seem to come to a conclusion. It's tearing me apart... and my emotional/hormonal (yeah that too >>;;;; ) state aren't being a freakin' help...
Anyone advice? What would you do if you were me...

--W

I am to be forgotten

2005-05-29T22:05:00.000+02:00

It's funny really...everyone i care about is trying to forget me, exactly cus they love me. I don't get it, I prolly never will too...If i love someone i can not forget that person, i can't even think of the idea of trying to forget that person... Maybe i'm different, but fuck that.
It makes me think tho... I once read a story about what happens to people, animals and things when everyone forgets about them. They go into a void...the void of lost objects. The only way to escape that place is to make someone remember you...think about you. The problem is, how to do that for a void. So escape is nearly impossible, diminishing as time passes by. Of course it would be really hard to be 100% forgotten, but i feel like that anyway...

Well then hurry up and forget me, don't give me anymore idle hope!

--W

...

2005-05-27T22:41:00.000+02:00

For those of you who think i have forgotten about my blog, you're wrong. But with everything going on these days, it's hard to find something sensible and coherent to write down here. My mind feels so chaotic, it even affects my health for the moment. I wanted to write a story here, but it came out so...bad...I just saved it as draft and didn't publish it. It's still far from finished and I think it sucks. Trying to put some amount of emotion and spirituality in a first try-story is...hard, very hard. And there's so much else I want to write down here, but I just don't find the right words, I don't think anyone would understand my emotionally chaotic gibberish. Yeh today I screwed up something I was to desperate to regain... It's something that happens a lot lately I guess. Bleh I think i'm having an emotional breakdown/overload. I'm dizzy, i'm waaaay too hot, my head hurts and my shoulders and back ache all over. If exams weren't coming up i think i'd have collapsed already. Or I wish i could collapse...I just wish it. This...thing inside me just won't let me give up no matter how much i screw up and no matter how much i just want to shut down and drift off into oblivion. Maybe I'm trying to hard...maybe i should let things come natural... But i'm tired of waiting and keeping strong while waiting! I'm tired of all the bullshit and emotions! I wish humans had some sort of "off" switch, preferably not the permanent kind tho cus that's the one we all have. Aggghh god my back hurts so much... with all this chaos inside it makes me beg for death, or at least an empty mind...empty because all i feel is fog...clear the fog...
I wish humans would understand eachother much easier. That or I wish humans would stop taking the other person's knowledge about the other for granted. How can a person know how the other feels when that other keeps pushing the one who care about her away? And still, it's taken for granted. God, the sheer madness is...annihilating my sanity. No I could not have known! how could i have when you keep pushing me away eh! Yes of course i care, i never stopped caring, but the way you're acting makes me think *you* stopped caring. No i can't know how you feel unless you *tell* me so, Unless you actually open up for once! Yes you've become what you didn't want to become, just because you acted that way and didn't open up! You should know me by know... I'm not damn invincible in my faith! Harder even: the past few months have been the most confusing and faith-wrecking of my entire life. No my age does not matter in that. I know a lot of people younger then me who are more emotionally stable then me. I don't care i haven't lived through the things you have, it's because of you...no...It's *for* you i go through shit like this! Realise this. Why should i keep supporting if i won't get supported in time when i need you to? It's madness, it's mindwrecking, it's emotionally exterminating my soul. Realise it for christ's sake! Anwser the question if only to make me stop worrying my head off! Do it if you even care!! Damn yes i love you, so stop keeping me waiting for you to *finally* say something! Stop *breaking* me!!!!!

Empty Victories

2005-05-17T21:41:00.000+02:00

Today was a very weird day ^^; All things combined I can't really say it's a bad day tho.
First off, I got to demonstrate my programming project 2 days earlier the normal, and I wasn't even prepared ^^; => "Are you Mr. Charels" "Ehh yes" "Well you're up now" "What?? O.O;; *panicpanicpanic*" omg i was soooo freaked out at that ^^; Oh well everything went fine, with 3 things working in my favour, it doesn't look so bleak for me.
Second, I scored a free pizza and wine today. My friends took me with to a pal from their school last year, and we got treated ^^; w00tness. We were a little woozy in class tho,but hehh it was enjoyable ^^;;
Third, i finally solved the misunderstandings between my 2 best friends (a guy and a girl) and got them back together. Yeah I'm kinda good at that stuff I guess, now if I only could do it for myself too...pheh...oh well..."even if we're lost..." but that's different stuff, for once I want this not to be an angsty post.

More on later days. Got 1 project left to do, then one week left to exams. Come what may...

ja ne!

--Warynn

hmmm...yeh

2005-05-13T21:56:00.000+02:00

Hi all. it's been quite some time, but things have been going on that left me too tired/miserable/both at the end of the day to update.
First thing's college. D---amn, college is a pain now. it's too busy and time absorbing to be healthy. Me being a person who needs a lot of sleep, slept less then 7 hours a day the past 3 days...it fucks me up...hard. All those projects and other peices of shit >> BLEAGGGGHHHH i say ~~
The second begin this day. I'm not supersticious (spelling >>) or so...(well actually i am...don't care tho) but this friday the 13th was the most fucked up day in a LOOOOONG time. First there was the train personnel strike. It took me 2 tiring hours extra to get home, then finally after soooo longing to a relaxing weekend i arrive home to find that there's a bloody fucking power outage...for 3 boring hours! That's....sooo frustrating yknow...but hehh, now i'm all tired, moody and feeling lonely. => conclusion: this day sucks major phat ass!!!
My back aches all over with tensed up muscles and i'm feeling miserable...God i wish for someone to make me feel better.

Yeh this is another whining post full of misery i need to take out somewhere, so bleh. Bear with it ill ya.

ja ne (cya in japanese)

--Warynn

3 words...

2005-04-23T23:24:00.000+02:00

wow!
just...
wow!

Hmmm....

2005-04-17T19:50:00.000+02:00

Hi all. It's been quite some time, again. Had a difficult period (and still having for some part), but imma keep it too myself. Putting it here could make some things worse. Ow well. For some reason I'm feeling pretty agitated and gloomy. Maybe it were the comments on my hair eh....*grmbl* ahhh, nm ~~. As you may already notice I'm forcing myself to put something here. Once a week is not very much as it is, and this post is so sucky it ain't even funny anymore. But oh well, enough complaining. One more week, and them maybe finally something good will happen, we'll see :) Looking forward to it.

Well I can't come up with more things to write down here, so imma leave y'all.
bye byes! Peace :)

--Warynn

"It's just one of those days...

2005-04-11T21:44:00.000+02:00

...Feeling a freight train. First one to complain leaves with a blood stain..."
Yeah, It's one of THOSE days, when nothing goes the way you want it and everything that can go wrong, goes wrong. It's been a while since I had one of those and damn it's one of the worst ever...I'm so freakin' irritated/aggravated right now I could smash something just for the thick of it. I'm really boiling inside. But it'll pass...like everything. I hope things'll go better tomorrow, if not imma be a big ball of stress and frustration at the end of the week ~~. I'm trying to play RO again on those private servers, now it seems my favourite server is gone/abandoned and my client is fucked up and refuses to update completely. kro would, but sakray wouldn't, leaving me with a 100 meg of useless bandwidth usage for an unfinished update. I had to uninstall RO and I'm downloading the install files as we speak...and prolly for the rest of the week ><. Hate it...always have always will. And that's just one of the many things fucked up that happened today, but it's the latest.

Hopefully a better mood tomorrow...Peace y'all

--Warynn

What boredom can lead to...

2005-04-09T15:30:00.000+02:00

Well I was so bored today that I made a quiz. It's in english so dutch ppl, don't nag ;).

This is the quiz

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050409092113-339904

This is the scorebord

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/scoreboard.php?quizname=050409092113-339904

have fun...I hope.
post any questions/remarks as comment.

--Warynn (geez one the the questions is easy for you ppl reading this blog ~.~)

Back from nowhere.

2005-04-06T15:24:00.000+02:00

Hi all. It has been quite some time since I posted something here. Haven't really been feeling like posting lately but that mood has kinda changed so here I am. Things have been fairly cool those last days. Had a booze party on saturday-sunday night. I had loads of fun there and met some cool new people. Now it's already half the second week of the Belgian easter holidays, and I feel like most of the people around my age must feel: sorry that the lazy days are almost over. I've been lazing off for one and a half week now, and quite enjoying it (I'm at 75% of this month's download limit already it's the 6th today...yeah I'm a freak ;) but the good days will be over soon. The hardest part of the year for a student is coming up...and we're going to feel it too... But hehh...we'll see, like always.

Well..I'm off y'all, peace!

--Warynn

Bad day Bad day Bad day

2005-03-29T20:00:00.000+02:00

Yeah what the title says: bad day... It started out pretty cool and ok. I visited a longtime good friend and we had good fun. When we visited his grandmother rain started pouring down on us. We still had to go quite a way and we had nowhere to take shelter. I was soaked till the bone ~.~"; (forgot to bring my coat dammit). That itself wasn't so sucky, but knowing that that friend is the brother of my ex...yeah, old feelings anew. I mean geez, for someone like me who wants to comfort everyone (especially someone if have deep feelings for) and not being able to...... Makes me feel VERY sucky. Very very sucky actually. But hehh..... Anyway... ~~

Not much else to tell... More things later this week that I'm kinda looking forward too. Two parties with some reall good friendsfrom school. I wonder how it'll be (and where to sleep if I get to sleep at all).
Peace y'all...

--Warynn

Strange emotions

2005-03-27T22:26:00.000+02:00

Hey all. it's been a while since I last updated (again). I told you I was lazy XD, I warned you. These past days had their ups and downs, but things are pretty stable now. I spend the past few days (the first of easter holidays ^^) playing Age of wonders: Shadow Magic. Nothing else to do and I'm giving my lazy side a chance =P. I gotte bring myself to do some work this week, because I'll probably have enough work to do for school.
On other terms, my emotional state is doing pretty well. I talked to some old female friend of mine, who I had some really great and fun times with. It was fun talking to her, and I kinda miss her and those good times. She told me she used to have a crush on me. ^^; First time in a looooong time someone made me blush that much =D. Feels kinda good, I wonder when we'll see ea chother again.
Yeah, the ways of life are strange indeed (("yes master obi-wan" =P pheh))

More thoughts, some other time
Peace y'all

--Warynn

Weakness

2005-03-24T13:44:00.000+01:00

...I just destroyed my own happiness for the sake of someone else's. God I must be crazy. Another thing I thought I'd never do, all for that person. Graaaahh! I just...annihilated my soul...for her and she doesn't even realize. I should stop being this weak, this is going nowhere. Every...little...second...I feel my soul crumble of this weakness...

Stupid...............

Holiday Heat

2005-03-23T16:33:00.000+01:00

Hey all. I'm in a pretty good mood today. No angst or stuff like that, just the casual holiday feeling. Mayeb a bit too casual cus I got an hypermedia exam on friday, but hehh, it's going ok :). Went eating today with my ex, her new "bf" and her brother. Was pretty ok, better then I had thought. You can barely use the word "relationship" when looking at those 2 ^^, which is a good thing. Yeah I know it is hypocritical and backstab-ish, but that's life ~.~". It's bloody 20°C outside and i'm here inside learning this shit O.o i should be outside in a t-shirt drinking some Cola and chillin' but noooo... damn*grumble*school*grumble*. Oh hell, 2 more days and then: FREEDOM!! ^^.

I'm pretty tired so sorry if things don't make much sense.
Peace y'all

--Warynn

Escaped from the void (for now)

2005-03-21T22:19:00.000+01:00

Yeah i'm back, escaped from the void of sadness. Some really good friends helped me through it. I really needed the help. It feels kinda good feeling all those trustworthy people around me. Tomorrow going out. Thses walls are driving me nuts. I've been uneasy and uncomforatble all day sitting inside. It got better as the day progressed but I never really felt totally ok. I hope that tomorrow is going to change that ^^. Too bad I can't do it more (yet). Damn hypermedia exam *grumble, mutter* It's too damn much, I think I'm going to be straining to finish it all, except if we don't have to learn that last part. I hope not... bleagh ~~
Anyway...we'll see. I had other thoughts I wanted to write here but I'm so freakin' tired I can barely think straight. Need sleep ~~. Need it a lot. Maybe some more tomorrow, we'll see...

Peace, y'all

-Warynn

Betrayed!!

2005-03-19T21:33:00.000+01:00

Betrayed...backstabbed... anally FUCKED, by a good friend nonetheless. How the fucking fuck FUCK HELLBUTFUCK is it possible that the forces who control this world are able to fuck me up even more then they already have...I CURSE YOU GOD YOU ANAL FUCK!!!!!

FUCK THE WORLD, NO-ONE UNDERSTOOD, NO-ONE EVER WILL!!

...

Let me die...now, before I suffer more

--Warynn, torn for eternity

/*begin edit*/
It's suprising, how words from people you've never met can be so very comforting.
So here, I'd very like to thank Sora Felix and Cinder Bear. Thanks so very much, those words mean more to me then you can imagne...
Yves you too, thanks a huge bunch mate, won't forget this.
Now if only I could stop crying.
For the rest...I wish the world would blow (it does blow already but in a different sense)
/*end-edit*/

Nothin'...Chillin'...

2005-03-15T21:25:00.000+01:00

Hey all. Nothing to report actually. I'm just updating for the sake of updating. Only 2 more days of real school left till easter holidays. Yaay ^^; Less stress, more chillin'. Seeing my friends from my old school tomorrow. I'm glad, it's been a while. Yeah, she's also going to be there... I wonder how things'll go...
I've been trying to make another "picture". Well actually it's some nice screenshot (ripped or self made) from somewhere and some shiney glittery or other text layered above it. Normally I immediatly feel which color should/can be used, but lately I've been pretty sucky at "feeling" it. Everything I try, gradients, glows, shadows, all of it just doesn't seem to fit... very aggravating. Yes it's n00bie work, shush ^^; =P. I made a few already which I'm quite pleased about. I started because of...yeah...because of her. I wanted to make her something nice, just for fun. So I started editing some wallpaper I found somewhere and added some symbolic text and "voila" (for you english ppl "there ya go"). This latest is a screenshot (took it myself) from Gundam Seed Destiny featuring Athrun and Cagalli. I also found a pretty sweet line from a song (also from GSD ^^). But I just can seem to get the colors right...it's pissin' me off O.o"; I'm going to try some more after I finish writing this.

more tomorrow (hopefully)
peace y'all,

--Warynn

You're my immortal...

2005-03-11T20:56:00.000+01:00

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

(--Evanescence)

//Never will it die...
//--Warynn

Weirdness ^^;

2005-03-10T21:32:00.000+01:00

Weirdness, but in a positive way. This day began pretty boring again, but got better as it proceeded. I dreamed something very...strange last night but remembering that dream made me wake up in a good mood, so it wasn't all that bad. Skipped some economy lessons (have seen it in high school already so pheh ;) which made my day even a bit better, so I was in a pretty happy mood all day. Nearing the evening I was reminded by the strange ways of my mind of how lonely I am and I started missing my ex-gf again...*sigh* But I kept my good mood. On msn I talked to a friend and we started acting silly and faking that we were interested in eachother. She has a bf already and I'm not planning on screwing that up but it actually was fun and made me feel a huge lot better. It was weird, of course, but I feel so...relieved of stress and sadness now. Some powerful music while I was talking a shower added to that and made me feel hyper and roaring to take on the world. Too bad it's evening... I have to go to bed now or I'd be zombified tomorrow. Yeah it seems natural for me: being hyper at night. I'm kind of an evening/night person. Sucks, sometimes, when you have to wake up lonely and cold in the morning. Bleh I'll survive I guess ^^; hope that tomorrow will be as good a day as today... We'll see, come what may.

goodnight, peace y'all :)

--Warynn

Boredness

2005-03-09T21:16:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. Really nothing important has happened. Well...not important enough to make it to my blog. My friends and me are making a game out of going with the elevator as soon as we see the chance, and hoping we'll get stuck again. Seems kinda foolish, but I don't really care about that :) Me and and my ex-gf talked things over. It's going better between us now, or so it seems. Haven't lost all hope...yet. Yes, I keep hoping for us to get back together. I don't know if I'll ever love someone like I love(d) her. But hehhh...no more about that, I'm trying not to think about that too much.
I got a new mobile phone for my birthday. Pretty cool thingy ^^ I'm still figuring out to use it tho, and I'm stuck without good settings for WAP, e-mail and mss :(. I'll ask someone at school, my friends are more knowledgable about mobile phones then I am. I really should get interested in more then just games ;). Then again I read about a game school opening at the border of The Netherlands and Belgium next year. I'd just loooove to go study there once I finished applied computer sciences here. But then I heard only 90 people can get in it every year... I wonder ~.~

I know nothing big but hey, I need to give you something to read ^^;
Signing out now, peace y'all

--Warynn

Ningen wa baka...

2005-03-05T23:10:00.000+01:00

Ningen wa baka. It means "humans are stupid". Well or so it should I'm not sure if it's completely right. Why am I saying that? Because it is. Well not all people of course, but the people I know that aren't stupid are getting fewer... Some people who I thought were friends are now barely talking to me. Or when they are they're acting like total fucksticks. Do I attract sadness...? I'm so getting to much of it, I'm just so fucking sick of all this bullcrap! *sigh* Normally I had something to look forward to, something to keep me going from day to day. I've lost that motivation... I don't know how to keep living like this, it's destroying me! I don't think I deserve all this shit... Please someone do something about it, it's killing me...

--Warynn

19 years of ownage

2005-03-04T20:52:00.000+01:00

Yup it's my birthday today ^^ yay for me. Now I'm 19 years of pure owning w00tage (not seriously but hey ;) It has been a very uneventful birthday tho. Some friends wishing my a happy birthday at school, my parents giving me a wacky birthday card...that's about it. My best friend's off partying with his gf, leaving me here ^^; (can't blame him, there was no place to sleep for me anyway, have a good time buddy ^^) I dun have a gf anymore, so life's still damn lame. Gotta hate it... ~.~" I plan on getting drunk tonight...alone... which is pretty sad, but I guess it can't be helped with this half-assed sucking life I lead. Well...tired woozyness, here I come. Maybe I could forget my worries and overall sadness (I know, I do sound like an alcoholic...bite me, see if I care for the moment)
Hope your having a good time. Peace y'all.

--Warynn

These feelings...

2005-03-02T22:37:00.000+01:00

I just saw RahXephon The Movie. I don't think any of you would know it, but if you did don't hesitate to share it ^^; In my opinion it was a great movie. Just the kind of dreamy love story I like, but never actually saw, until now. I would've changed the end just a bit, but I understand the writer's reasons for doing it the way it was done. ... I just wish I had someone to share these feelings with... I wish it so hard...

Have to go to bed now... A lonely, cold bed.

...mamoritai...ai wa...

...

--Warynn

Braaaiinnss

2005-03-01T21:27:00.000+01:00

/* Bleh, saved monday's post as draft instead of publishing. It's on now */

What a tiresome day. The getting up was a lot harder then yesterday, so now i'm feeling pretty messed up and exhausted. School was ok, and something relatively funny happened. Me and my friends got stuck in an elevator. We called our school, asking for someone to get us out, but after 10 minutes we forced the door open with our hands, then the people who were supposed to get us out arrived...by elevator... We had a few good laughs, but I hope that doesn't happen too much. Missed a good 20 minutes of programming class, which wasn't so bad (crappy teacher anyway). My heartache's gotten better too. I still think about it but it doesn't hurt as much. And I really have my best friends' comforting words to thank for that. Thanks a lot you guys and girls :)
Tomorrow's a class-free day so don't expect anything exciting, unless I come up with some random line of thought I need to share with you all. Finally some sleep!!

I'm almost falling asleep here, so goodnight y'all.

--Warynn

Monday, bloody monday

2005-02-28T20:03:00.000+01:00

Monday evening...well getting up wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm not extremely tired, so that's good. 2 more days like that to go (this week). Still thinking about it... Yeah I know, I shouldn't, but I can't help it. And somehow i don't want to stop thinking about it. Thinking about it, hoping to find out that something wasn't rightabout how she did it, that she didn't broke up with me, but that it's just a "pauze". Idle hope? Bleh I want to talk about it with her, but I won't be able to until friday. I really don't want her to feel bad, but that's going to be hard. Especially since it's my birthday friday, she'll feel extra bad. Aaaggh life's a bitch ("then you rejuvenate and do it all over again.")

Don't really have much else to say... tomorrow another day of early torment. Wednsday free day but prolly a mentally hard one. Oh boy...

Signing out. Cy'all...

--Warynn

Day 2 (unoriginal, I know)

2005-02-27T17:37:00.000+01:00

Gallows humour. I've been living off of it all day now. My feelings in chaos, my nose and forehead clogged up by a bad flue...gah I feel totally f*cked up. Everything i see, hear, think, do reminds me of her. Idioticly I'm still nagging about it too, instead of trying to forget. She's on msn right now, barely talking to me. Can't blame her though, what's there to talk about? She's still playing that game we used to play, now just without me. Makes you wonder... Or is that just me?

School tomorrow. Shitty... I can barely stay awake, this illness is giving me the feeling of being awake while sleeping. Strange I know but it's the best how I can describe this. I can't afford to stay home though: 3 hours of programming tomorrow and i understand barely anything of the whole pointer subject... gah "pointer to void" *shudder*.

In the meantime i'm still thinking about her. Or am I being jealous. Jealous for no reason... Her nick is the same then yesterday, just not the "I love you so much Wim" part in it. Makes you feel like a nothing, a useless nobody. Strangly enough I kinda felt it coming. I was playing Thang online earlier yesterday and everything went to smoothly. The right drops, the right monsters, the perfect costumers for my loot shop. Everything went too perfect and i said ironically to myself "A lot of luck in the game...that means no luck in love...mheh doesn't fit anyway *smile* ". Then see what happens. Hah! Coincidence? or not? Think about it.
I'm going to get something to eat now. To bed early today, getting up at 5.30am tomorrow...god the paaainn ~.~" And with this flue...someone pray for me...

Peace y'all.

The beginning

2005-02-26T21:21:00.000+01:00

So...I have a blog. It's kinda weird for me to have a blog. Well I personally never thought myself the type to have a blog. Then again...I've been thinking about it for some time, and this is it. What made me do it? Well...emotions I guess. I think/hope this blog to be a place to vent them, or to write silly/strange/other stuff here. For the moment...emotional. Yes this is going to be a sob story ~.~" All who hate those stop reading. But...I don't really know how to start. I'm not the "whine i'm sooooo sad *sob sob*" type. I like it subtle... Sooo, where to start? ... ... You ever been thinking as an 18 year old single hopeless romantic how the rest fo your life would be? If so when did you think about it? When you were in love? When you were with friends without gf/bf? When you just broke up? Your thought may vary quite a lot depending on when you think about it. Myself, I've had the first and the last type in a 2 day period... yeah that's right, that's what happened. Life's a bitch, and although it is that way, I'd like life to go on... *sigh* I wonder... About what you ask? A lot of things for the moment... most of them to sob-ish for my taste to write down here. The next days are going to be hell. Usually i wait for her at her school wednsday, so that's going to be the hardest. Well...I don't know what else to write down here. (darn long post, especially for me o.O'; )

A blog can be visited eh? I wonder who'd visit mine... random people, friends? Hah we'll see... Come what may (for a lot of things). So, if you want post your comment. If you want to break me down, go somewhere else, I can go without for the moment. Everyone else, thanks I guess ^^;