Fresh rant? A reason to rant

It feels like ranting time for me again. There is a change though, finally. I shall first tell you why I say "finally".
Lately I feel like there has been something missing. Missing from what keeps us moving forward. I wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, work, eat lunch, work some more, go home, eat dinner, watch a movie or some series episodes and go to sleep. And from time to time I feel content doing that. I also have been in the dumps over being single again. I tried subscribing to some sites (yes yes, I know, it's pathetic, but hell) to meet some new people. I met one girl and we get along fine, but there is no real spark. Same with some other girls I know who I might have an interest in. I get along fine with them, and we have nice talks, and I can even show some of my true colors to them. But again there is no spark. It made me... depressed, again. But I am kinda sick and tired of being depressed, so I set myself to the task of thinking up a solution. To know the solution you must know the question. The question in this case: why can't I create a spark [of interest]. Ah, perhaps it's me, but hell, looking at the other couples out there, I seem like plenty a good guy. Sure I'm nerdy and geeky and a gamer and what have you, but I'm social. I have a bunch of friends who are dear to me like family. I go to clubs and dance, I'm no wall-flower with a soda-pop in his hands. I can carry a great conversation when I get past the first step (heh), and I can use both intelligence and witty humor to charm the person opposite of me. So what is wrong? Is it me? Is it them? I tried asking them: is it me? The answer was no on several occasions. But honestly, I beg to differ. I thought about it, from different angles. If it's not me it's them. But I think I'm enough of a people person to read them, and no I don't think the problems lies there. So we're back to step 1 (didn't get very far, right? hah!) : it's me. So what's wrong with me? I have a job, I make good money, I have good colleagues, a good boss, a good company, and so on. But I explained the situation before. I eat, I work, I sleep. And my motivation is being drained every day. My hobbies and my interests are what keep me up, together with my friends and my social life. I used to have a good motivation during College. The will to make something great, the creativity inside of me could be harnessed and had a way out, and I made great friends doing it. Work is... different. Sure I love programming, but creativity is difficult. I'm still a new employee and I feel the pressure of my colleagues, to be as good in my job as they are. Being creative in your solutions take time and I don't give myself this time... yet (I hope). And my colleagues are good people. Great people even but they will never be as close to me as my College friends will be. So... yeah. That conclusion is easily made. It's something I have to live with. For the moment, for a starter, this job is great. I'm not willing to give it up for a gamble just yet. So really, today I realised... I have no real thing that is "me".
So here is the conclusion about what changed about my ranting. I used to rant when I have questions. Questions about why things happen the way they do, and what I should do when I feel this crappy. But this here, it's a rant about finding an answer. It's a small one, but it's a step.
Fuck it, I'm a coward. More so, I'm one of the worst kind of cowards, I'm a lazy coward, too lazy to go out and fix it when some possible answers are right in front of me. But I need to find one that is "me". I need to find the motivation to break out of this, "funk" you can call it. Most of my life I am coasting along, looking for support, needing love as support, but more and more I'm getting the feeling I need to break free.

And probably, when I break free, I can be someone who can create that spark.