But, but, but ... he's your brother

I feel like ranting...

So it's time to debunk some common social misconception: siblings

I sometimes get asked how my brother is doing. I can only guess the reasons they ask me rather than my brother himself, but if I had to make an attempt I would say it is due to their unwavering respect for his personal life, combined with their burning curiosity for other people's affairs.

This question usually gets answered with "Don't know" followed by a voiced or implied "don't care". (though I've sometimes used something impersonal such as "fine" to avoid having to repeat my arguments for the umpteenth time) Then I usually get some manner of lecture on how I should care more for my brother. So it's time to once and for all shoot these arguments down, in the vain hope that they stay dead.

1. he's your brother

So, I should care about my brother because he's my brother. Circular logic much? If I have to explain this one, there simply is no hope.

2. He's your only brother in the whole wide world

*casually points out the other brother* But I'm guessing you mean that he is unique and should be treated as such. Three other things that are unique: an ant, a cupcake and a snowflake. I hope you are (not) suggesting that I should char my brother with a magnifying glass, eat him and store the remains in freezer in a futile attempt to preserve it?

Straw-man aside, everyone in this world is unique in their own unique way and as such the uniqueness losses it's uniqueness. If you want me to care, you'll have to prove why this uniqueness is better than another brand of uniqueness. Which of course brings us toooooooooooooo....

3. The genetic link

False. first of all there is no reason why siblings should have even a single chromosome in common (If you don't know what a chromosome is or don't understand why this statement is correct you do not even have the right to invoke the genetic argument) With one notable exception: same sex siblings will have their father's sex chromosome in common.

So in other words, I share the male chromosome with my brother. Whoopty-freaking-doo, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a nano-particle, small enough that when containing my joy it won't cause an implosion capable of destroying the universe.

Second of all, for most humans, the functional part of the genome is roughly the same. If not, you either don't get past the zygote stage, or you have a genetic disease. If you need to base your arguments on the person being diseased you might want to rethink your opinion. Most variation occurs in random areas that have no real significance (as far as we know).

And of course genetics isn't the only thing that determines a person, which brings us tooooooooooooooooooooo...

4. You grew up together

Indeed you got me there. We did indeed spend 20 years or so together. And indeed, you are completely right when you claim those 20 years of accumulated experiences should be overruled by your 1 minute impulse romantic vision.

Look just wishing for something to change and expecting it just happen overnight doesn't cut it. Maybe if you set up some good rites and put 20 years of praying in it may have an influence. Then again, by the time you're done with that I'll have another 20 years of experience for you to negate. As you can see, this is a lost fight. You're welcome to either try or give up, as long as it stops you from interfering with me.

Some of you might be thinking that I hate my brothers. This is untrue. In fact I'm quite okay with them, even if it's just for the fact that they have the good sense not to try to dictate my life and feelings to me. Like some assholes seem to do. It's them I hate, those delusional assholes.

There, now we can all get along by asking at least one less stupid question.

Happy Pi-day everyone. ^^