doubts
So...being unable to come to a good conclusion I've decided to post my biggest doubt of my life here and take advice from you people. It's an emotional/love dillemma which i'm finding so freaking hard to come out of. Both sides have equal cons and pros (for me that is). Kinda hard for me to explain all of them here but i'll try my best. The choice between 2 girls (how freakin' cliché eh...hate that fact)
On one side there is a girl which i have 100% certainity for a great relationship. I haven't done much together with her, but we talked a HUGE lot on msn and i know almost everything (literally everything) about her. We broke up cus of doubts, but we both still love eachother a lot, of that i am very sure. But getting together again with her would also mean having to break her up with her bf. So once i choose her there's no going back at al, ever again. I will not hurt her again like that.
On the other side there's the other girl. I've known her for...6 years? 7? And I've loved her during that whole time. But lately she's been very down and chaotic. Whenever i try to help her she keeps pushing me away and she broke with me up cus of her emotional problems before...twice. Hurt like hell. Now i still feel for her too, and she for me. But i'm not sure...just not entirely sure. And there's also the chance she might break up with me again if we go back together. But hen again it's so very hard to just throw all those years away, almost impossible. she said i'd be the first to know if she wanted a relation. I love her so much too...but is it worth getting hurt again?
So now i'm balancing in between those 2 choices. Which one to pick... And no matter how long i think and no matter how many logic i throw against it (my normal way of solving stuff, which has solved these kind of problems before) i just can't seem to come to a conclusion. It's tearing me apart... and my emotional/hormonal (yeah that too >>;;;; ) state aren't being a freakin' help...
Anyone advice? What would you do if you were me...
--W
On one side there is a girl which i have 100% certainity for a great relationship. I haven't done much together with her, but we talked a HUGE lot on msn and i know almost everything (literally everything) about her. We broke up cus of doubts, but we both still love eachother a lot, of that i am very sure. But getting together again with her would also mean having to break her up with her bf. So once i choose her there's no going back at al, ever again. I will not hurt her again like that.
On the other side there's the other girl. I've known her for...6 years? 7? And I've loved her during that whole time. But lately she's been very down and chaotic. Whenever i try to help her she keeps pushing me away and she broke with me up cus of her emotional problems before...twice. Hurt like hell. Now i still feel for her too, and she for me. But i'm not sure...just not entirely sure. And there's also the chance she might break up with me again if we go back together. But hen again it's so very hard to just throw all those years away, almost impossible. she said i'd be the first to know if she wanted a relation. I love her so much too...but is it worth getting hurt again?
So now i'm balancing in between those 2 choices. Which one to pick... And no matter how long i think and no matter how many logic i throw against it (my normal way of solving stuff, which has solved these kind of problems before) i just can't seem to come to a conclusion. It's tearing me apart... and my emotional/hormonal (yeah that too >>;;;; ) state aren't being a freakin' help...
Anyone advice? What would you do if you were me...
--W
posted by Warynn at 6/07/2005 09:12:00 PM
7 Comments:
I'll try and counter any reasons you people might give for either choice, and only when i'm unable give a good one i'll accept your point. and yesh i'm very difficult and picky like that...
it's pretty obvious the way you talk about both... and it's pretty obvious who you love most. yes, you'll risk getting hurt again... yes, you probably will... but no-one is going to be able to stop you from doing what you'll do. you only used the word LOVE with one person. guess whot i was...
Geez i'm freakin' tired so i failed at my trying to be totally neutral sided with my wording ><;
I LOVE them both!
/*edit*/ there i changed it.
man man man
geef mij dan mor een exaamke zene
anyway,
i'll give it a go
if I were you...
well
om één of andere rede zou 'k voor die eerste gaan
alé ja, ik weet da ge der al mee same zijt geweest en da ge uiteen zijt gegaan
mor as ge echt nog van elkaar houdt dan zal da wel goekome zeker?
enige probleem is dienen andere keren...
(alhoewel ik da altijd raar heb gevonde da mense zo effe uiteen zijn en dan weet trug bijeen, mor 'k heb die gevoelens ook al is bij mijzelf gemerkt dus ik gaan daarover ni beginne kakke)
dan, de 2de
waarom die ni...
wel, uit dees blogske kan ik opmake da ze u redelijk zeer doe
en da zij chaotisch en depressief is
da chaotisch is geen probleem
depressie is anders iets da'k wegens omstandigheden nimeer vertrouw
dan doen mense pas raar, en as ze deruit kome soms nog raarder
en uiteindelijk, ze heeft gezegd da gij den eerste zou zijn die 't zou wete (ook al wete we wsl alle 2 da ze ni op nen dag ga afkome en zegge van "hey, ik wil een relatie" mor kom)
en omda ge der geen relatie mee hebt, moete ze ook ni vergete hé!!!
ok, as ge een lief hebt zulde ni moete afkome van "ja, mor ik hou ook van de die", mor ge moet zeker ni vergete da ge der ooit van gehouden hebt!
en trouwens, als ge 100% zekerheid hebt op een relatie me een meiske waarvan ge houdt, en waarvan ge weet da zij van u houdt, why not?
owja, als buitenstaander is 't altij gemakkelijker om een keuze te make aangezien ge toch geen van beide kent
so don't be mad at me!!!
voor zover de raad van iemand die nix anders doe dan ne mesthoop maken van zijn eigen leven...
Mad at you? are you kidding? :) Echt ik apprecieer wa da ge hier zet echt mateloos veel. Never thought i'd have *such* good friends so fast. And I'm sorry y'all for complaining so much.
BSQ, als ge ooit iemand nodig hebt voor me u probs te helpen, just ask anytime :) Better at solving other people's probs anyway.
Hi,
Just browsing the web and I came across your dillemma.
I could not make much out the suggestions by other (probably not in english).
Try this on: Whenever you are in dillemma or confussion it simply means that you are not ready to accept the responsibility. Dillemma is just a comfort zone. Get out of it.
Just live in the present, what will be there in the future how it will shape up, you never know. But at the same time create a future for yourself.
If you have broken up with them more than once definately there is not complete acceptance of each other. And without that relationships do not work long term.
In my opinion instead of you choosing one of them, let them choose you.
Share this dillemma with your girlfriend, she may get mad at you. But if she says she still loves you, donot let her go... ever...
One more thing: Just be present to the miracle of being alive.
I really like your view of things. And I thank you for your advice, i'll keep it to heart. :)
Actually that's what happened, and (luckily?) they didn't both pick me. It hurts kinda, but it's indeed for the best. Thing's are looking up, I hope it'll keep being that way.
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